So if you can remember all the way back to this morning, it was announced that Steven Soderbergh is in talks to remake The Man from U.N.C.L.E, the popular 60s spy television show. Now word has dropped that long time Soderbergh collaborator (and girlfriend stealer [mine, not Soderbergh’s]) George Clooney may star in the adaptation that may or may not happen.
And because this is basically another non-news story being touted as actual news, I’m going to list the things I would let George Clooney get away with:
-Playing music too loud in the apartment above me
-Hitting on my girlfriend at a bar
-Actually taking my girlfriend home (he has a tendency to buy girls islands)
-Insider trading
-Double dipping the chip
-Representing me in a court of law (with or without a law degree)
-Cutting in front of me at Walgreens
-Spilling a drink on me at the movies
-Not holding the elevator for me
-Sneezing on me
-If he was quarantined, I would still let him rub sunscreen on my back
-Punching me in the face
-Cursing out my mother
-Reading my middle school diary/journal to a group of incredibly attractive women
-Ordering for me at a French restaurant
-Driving drunk
-Installing new software on my computer
-Screening me at airport security
-Taking my place as People’s Sexiest Man Alive
-Wearing brown and black at the same time
-Talking about religion and politics at my family’s dinner
-Drinking straight from the jug
-Allowing him to not return my calls, emails, txts, tweets, etc
-Talking about himself on twitter
-Wearing a hat inside
-Letting him call me by the wrong name
-Showing up drunk to anything
-Farting
Source: /Film
