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Everything You Need to Know Before Tonight’s Episode of ‘The Good Wife’

ALTLife is never easy for Alicia Florrick, the most well-dressed fourth year law associate in the whole damn world. When her husband isn’t cheating on her with hookers, her best friend’s husband is trying to kill her and she has to share her office with that awful Cary who is always mumbling. God, can he please stop mumbling?

This Sunday marks the return of the show from its “winter hiatus,” a term that entertainment executives made up so that entertainment journalists would have one thing to write about. We used to just call them “reruns” and ignore that it was even happening, but now that we have a whole darn internet to fill up with content about television shows, we’ll latch on to whatever scrap we can as an excuse to write a story. So, here it is, you’re catch up on The Good Wife. Think of it like that little “previously on” thing that airs before the show, but with words instead of pictures.

The Good Wife

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Where We Left Off: Eli and Diane found out that the Department of Justice was investigating Peter Florrick for some sort of crimes or misdemeanors and when Eli wouldn’t give him up, they stormed his office and took everything. Will went out on a date with Amanda Peet. Kalinda finally got rid of her awful ex who was smuggling drugs. Grace was cleared of having searched Chum Hum (TGW‘s version of Google) for a question about condoms but then went and searched for “sex.” OK, I’m sorry, but what internet-savvy teenager is just going to search “sex.” Like she doesn’t know what it is? Like she can’t find all the porn, so she wants to see graphic depictions of it on the internet? Please. Can’t we get a little more specific? This isn’t some ’70s afterschool special where 10-year-olds look up “sex” in the encyclopedia. What’s the one name I didn’t mention? Alicia. Yeah, she didn’t do much.

Biggest Jaw-Dropper of the Fall: That Peter is under investigation and might have actually slept with that hussy of a campaign worker.

Biggest Let-Down of the Fall: Everything having to do with the awful, nonsensical, totally lackluster storyline about Kalinda and her drug-dealing husband.

Most Improved Character: Clarke Haydon, the firm’s trustee who has shown himself to be a quiet and canny ally, but also a devious enemy at the same time. Nathan Lane has never been better in this rather understated role, totally different from the drag queens and divas he usually plays.

Least Improved Character: Ugh, Kalinda, thank God you got rid of that awful ex of yours.

5 Reasons You Should Keep Watching: There’s still no better show when it comes to guest stars. We’ll see more of Amanda Peet, Nathan Lane, and Maura Tierney and we’ll also get to see T.R. Knight on tonight’s episode and Bill Maher playing himself later in the season. We’re going to get to hear more about the sex life of Grace and her grandmother Jackie which, ew. Eli is going to go on trial, which should be an absolute delight to watch. Is that five things? Oh, and Alicia’s hair. Man, she has some mighty fine hair. Is that five? Oh screw it. Just watch it cause it’s the best procedural CBS has.

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What We Ultimately Want to See: Kalinda and Alicia making out.

What Would Make Us Turn Our Backs: Why would you leave a show this good? Only because there is so much other stuff on Sundays that it’s hard to make room in the DVR.

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: CBS]

More:

‘The Good Wife’ Is Suddenly the Gayest Show on TV

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‘The Good Wife’ Goes Full ‘Boston Legal’: Adds Nathan Lane to Star-Studded Lineup

Michael J. Fox Returns to ‘The Good Wife’

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