NBC’s The New Normal is a delightful show about a not very ordinary gay couple trying to have a surrogate daughter with a strange woman who has an oddball child and an unbelievably bigoted (and funny) grandmother. NeNe Leakes is also somehow involved. As much as it would like us to believe that this is the way the world works today, like most Ryan Murphy shows it is a celebration of the oddities within all of us. Therefore this weekly feature is both a celebration (and indictment) of all the abnormality contained within it.
Normal: Making a video of your children.
Abnormal: Making a video for your children before they’re even born. Seriously, this only happens on TV.
Normal: Jews not having godparents.
Abnormal: Jews not knowing what godparents are.
Normal: Having godparents.
Abnormal: Actually talking to your godparents about god. Mine just send me a card on my birthday. Well, my godfather hasn’t done that since I was 12.
Normal: NeNe Leakes.
Abnormal: NeNe Leakes acting! That bug-poop scene was fantastic. She is going to be rich, bitch.
Normal: Having a complex about inferior abs.
Abnormal: Having a complex about inferior abs and looking like this.
Normal: Poop jokes.
Abnormal: Two poop jokes in the first three minutes of a sitcom.
Normal: Talking to your baby brother or sister while it’s in the womb.
Abnormal: Talking in Spanish to your baby brother or sister while it’s in the womb (and, you know, it’s not really your brother or sister, biologically or spiritually).
Normal: To cease going to church.
Abnormal: To cease going to church to spend more time at brunch.
Normal: Not liking Annie Leibovitz.
Abnormal: Not knowing who Annie Leibovitz is.
Normal: A puffy vest.
Abnormal: This puffy vest. (Look at how sad he is. It’s because of the vest.)
Normal: Going to confession in a church.
Abnormal: Using one of the boxes with the little screen. Seriously, that only happens on TV.
Normal: Priests making jokes.
Abnormal: Priests making veiled jokes about other priests getting fired for being pedophiles.
Normal: A doctor giving CPR.
Abnormal: A doctor giving CPR to a guinea pig.
Normal: A TV show switching out a dead pet for a new pet that is living.
Abnormal: A TV show switching out a dead pet for a new pet that is living while acknowledging that it is a stupid plot and still doing it anyway.
Normal: Taking your pet out of the house.
Abnormal: Taking your pet on the LA Metro. Seriously, no one rides the LA Metro. Not even on TV.
Normal: Little kids liking old TV shows.
Abnormal: Quantum Leap? That shit isn’t even in syndication.
Normal: Thinking things can change.
Abnormal: Thinking the Catholic Church can change.
Normal: Going to church to see the priest.
Abnormal: Going to church to see Mark Wahlberg‘s abs. That would get me in a church. (And isn’t Wahlberg a pretty Jewish sounding name for a Catholic?)
Normal: Making jokes about Amanda Bynes.
Abnormal: Making two Amanda Bynes jokes in 30 minutes.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Trae Patton/NBC]
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The Least Normal Things About ‘The New Normal’: Fake Wedding Edition
The Least Normal Things About ‘The New Normal’: Drunken Hookup Edition
The Least Normal Things About ‘The New Normal’: Race and Politics Edition
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