Dana Carvey is hosting SNL this weekend with guest, Linkin Park. Notice I did not preface “guest” with the word “musical” because I do not want to be misleading and get you excited for something that will not occur. Also notice I did not assign an adjective to the usually funny Dana Carvey because Lorne Michaels is not going to air any Church Lady or Ross Perot or Hans sketches because he’s trying to keep the show young and the youngins of have replaced their knowledge of Churches and Ladies with how many times Justin Bieber said “like” when he was on The Tonight Show. This means Carvey’s bits will be absent of any of his comedic history on the show, even though this promo has him reliving his glory days with Andy Samberg. Lorne Michaels is all about NEW generations and NEW blood and NEW humor like fucking mermaids and doing something to Poseidon, which is relevant and pop culture based and is so much about the 24-hour news cycle that a bit about a guy cracking his head open on the way to a party and then liking it when the host’s dog starts eating his brain has nothing to do with anything. SO WHO’S LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING A GREAT GUY NOT ALLOWED TO BE GREAT!?