‘Gossip Girl’ Recap: Easy J

‘Gossip Girl’ Recap: Easy J

'Gossip Girl: Season 4', Katie Cassidy, Chace Crawford
"Goodbye Columbia": Katie Cassidy as Juliet and Chace Crawford as Nate on The CW's 'Gossip Girl: Season 4'

S4:E6 Last night on Gossip Girl, Serena went straight home from “staying up all night and talking about Andy Warhol” with Colin to change her clothes so she could go to class, but Blair interrupted her and asked what she’d been up to. Blair was quick to shift the attention to herself, and told Serena how she had a dream that some girl attacked her with a jeweled headband. But after the “Serena exchanges sexual favors for good grades” text fiasco of last week, Serena said she had to run because she promised the Dean she’d be a model student… and that was going to be easier now that she made Colin an ally instead of a BITCH. When she got to class, she saw he was her new Psychology of Business professor.

Before class, Blair went over to the Van Der Woodsen household and figured out the dream she had was her subconscious preparing her for Jenny Humphrey’s triumphant return. Blair learned Chuck got Jenny an interview with Tim Gunn at Parsons, and Jenny told Blair she was only in the city to show him her collection and then she was going to head back to the little art collecting town to which she was previously exiled. Blair agreed Jenny could have one day in the city, but promised to punish her if she was caught going anywhere that wasn’t Tim Gunn’s lair of Excellency. To make sure she didn’t, Blair had her minions follow Little J around the city in their matching khaki high waisted pants, and the fact Jenny never spotted them spoke very little of her high fashion discerning eye.

Nate ran into Juliet when he was visiting his father in prison. She told him she was a volunteer for the Prison Literacy Program instead of visiting her brother (the writers have made her so devoted to him I keep expecting her to request a conjugal visit). Everything Juliet has said to Nate up to this point has been a lie, including that the zipper on her gray dress doesn’t open and that the prisoners she works with can control themselves when they see it.

Serena talked to Colin about him being her Professor, and it was revealed through some references to the Crusades that they really didn’t have sex on that night they were together. Serena said she wanted to drop his class, but Colin insisted she be his date to some award ceremony where he was being honored as an eligible bachelor. She agreed to go, and unfortunately, no one took back her admission to Columbia after she failed to realize the irony in that.

Right before she was to go talk to Tim Gunn, Chuck called Jenny and told her he accidentally took her portfolio when he visited the Van Der Woodsen house earlier, and asked if she could come by the hotel to pick it up. Jenny said she couldn’t, but Chuck insisted she go pick it up at the hotel concierge. She had no choice but to disobey Blair’s orders of only going to Parsons because Tim Gunn needs to hold onto something when he looks at something.

As a result of Jenny breaking her contact with Blair by going to Chuck’s hotel, her dresses were sabotaged before they went out onto the runway for Tim Gunn’s viewing. Blair had her friends write one letter on each dress in red paint that when lined up, spelled “whore,” which decidedly went against Jenny’s message that her clothes tried to reinstate self worth and self-respect into the girls and young women who would wear them. Tim Gunn was shocked at the disparity between the clothes and Jenny’s pitch to him, and he had her escorted out of the building. Blair was there waiting for Jenny, and promptly handed her a train ticket back to Hudson because she broke their agreement. Gossip Girl sent out a blast with a picture of the exchange, and Chuck called Dan to say that Tim Gunn would be at the Boom Boom Room later that night, and Jenny should consider going there and asking for a second chance. She agreed it was worth a shot.

At the event, Serena was hesitant to pose for the cameras with Colin because when her mother caught her reading Colin’s book, she praised her for taking her studies so seriously. Once Serena met up with her mother, and her she had a chance to see the dress Serena was wearing, she curiously decided to talk with her daughter about her studies as opposed to her dress, which had such a big cutout in it that Bob Villa could have mounted a TV in it. Then, Colin walked over and told Serena to tell her mother that they might have a future together, and that she should stop taking business classes so they could have more time together. Surprisingly, his comments got a bigger reaction out of Lily than the idea she would one day be able to watch the world cup in hi-def on her daughter’s chest. Also at the party, Jenny pulled Tim Gunn aside and asked if he’d be willing to give her a second interview. He said he would, and that Chuck had already called him. Jenny was perplexed.

Back at Nate’s house, Juliet arrived to tell him about her family but Nate got a call from the prison where his dad was and was told that he was beat up by other inmates, and Nate left to go see him. Then, Juliet got a text from her brother, who’s at the same prison, which asked her if she “got [his] message yet,” which clearly revealed that he beat up Nate’s dad to warn her about getting too close to Nate instead of completing her “assignment.” But he’s texting? In jail? Does he get to scoop his melon using a melon baller, too?

Chuck ran into Blair at the party and she realized that he brought Jenny back to New York as a means of continuing to torture her after she drove Ava back to Paris. Then, Gossip Girl sent out a blast that revealed that Jenny slept with Chuck on the night he was going to propose to Blair.

When Colin was accepting his perpetual bachelor award, he looked directly at Serena and said it was an honor that he’d gladly give up for the right woman. However, Lily took a chapter right out of Colin’s book on reverse psychology and told Serena she understood the lure of a powerful man, and that if she wanted to date him, she should, because she never could have handled his business class anyway. This lead Serena to grab her mother and leave the event, and Colin with his glass apple award in wooing women by stealing the cabs they would be taking on the way to his class.

On the way out of the event, Jenny caught Blair and Chuck arguing about who had “won” and who had “lost.” Jenny said she didn’t want to become like either one of them so she was going to head back to Hudson, where apparently, the biggest bully is something more manageable, like termites.

Serena dropped by Colin’s office, and found him preparing for Monday’s lecture. He proposed that she take his class as his student, but be willing to begin her “advanced coursework” with him once the class had ended. She agreed.

In the end, Chuck went to Blair’s apartment and asked that they call a truce on the war they’d waged upon each other. Juliet called Nate to break up with him because her brother beat up Nate’s dad. AND THEN, Colin came home to find Juliet waiting for him to write her a check AND waiting to have a toast to Serena’s demise. Oh, how refreshing. Another corrupt businessman.