George Clooney, creator of the universe and deputy of all things just outside the reach of Matt Damon, has contracted malaria. Piers Morgan reported the news just a few minutes ago that Clooney must have been exposed to it he was in Sudan last December to assist the UN and Google with preventing a civil war from breaking out. Morgan also informs us that this is the actor’s second time getting the disease, which means Clooney didn’t learn the first time around that GOOGLE NEVER NEEDS HELP WITH ANYTHING.
For those of us who find the buzz of a mosquito more pleasant than the soundtrack to Carousel, the females (who only carry the disease) can actually be quite deadly. A person can contract malaria when they are bitten by an infested female, who spits the parasites that live in her saliva back into the person’s bloodstream. Symptoms include fever, shivering, joint pain, vomiting, retinal damage, and convulsions. Also indicative of malaria is coldness, followed by fever and sweating. So…general discomfort that is otherwise comparable to being forced to sit through a Home Improvement episode that doesn’t have Jonathan Taylor Thomas in it.
We all hope George makes a speedy recovery.
Source: Huffpo
