Blah Blah Blah. Another week of publicity-driven gab is upon us.
Stars of the world: it’s time for makeup and hair, and you’d better have prepared that ‘humorous’ anecdote from the winter family trip to the white beaches of Turks & Caicos, because Star Jones-Reynolds is ready to listen–intently. Nevermind that little blue index card she’s holding with those pre-planned questions—what’s about to happen with you on the couch is the most natural of conversations, as only shared by the closest of friends.
The chatter that often ensues when celebrities make their talk show rounds, through New York or Los Angeles, is always enough to keep us entertained. At the very least, it supplies us with a hefty glimpse at what these larger-than-life stars are like in the ‘real’ world.
Here, for your comprehensive viewing pleasure, is a beefy listing of who is appearing on which talk show this week, and what they’ll probably talk about in the hot seat. Even if you’ve already heard them mouth-off on the same topics before, it’s somehow always new—well, sort of…
But first—
What to look forward to this week:
Ask any rep at NBC about the popularity of this year’s Olympics, and they’ll skate away from you faster than Apollo Anton Ono. Besides being practically ignored by its once-strong viewership, the event also wreaked substantial havoc on NBC’s already struggling primetime lineups. So, yes, it’s been a bit uneven these past few weeks…
But, get ready to welcome back the future face of late night television! With the closing ceremonies in the bag, Conan gets ready for his first week on the air in a couple weeks. If you have tearfully missed colorful characters such as vomiting Kermit, and The Chef Cactus who plays “We Didn’t Start the Fire” on the flute, then rest easy because Conan is returning this week from hiatus to bring them all back to you, and more [insert: sigh of relief]. Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin, and the music of Belle & Sebastian are just some of the guests that will welcome the self-proclaimed ‘Cone-dawg’ back to the top of late night this week.
Monday, February 27th
Live With Regis & Kelly
Donald Trump comes to plug his new season of The Apprentice–and hopefully shed some light on his surprisingly bitter, public feud with Martha Stewart. Two brilliant businesspeople using the media to air their sudden disagreements? They couldn’t be artificially escalating this for the benefit of publicity now could they? Also, Roger Ebert waxes Oscar with the morning duo.
The View
The show returns to their New York set after a week of Las Vegas shows. There was little Fear and Loathing, but a lot of gabbing. Tim Allen talks to The View gals about his intricately crafted role as a canine in Disney’s upcoming The Shaggy Dog; Mary Lynn Rajskub of 24 also stops by.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
I don’t mean to be nasty, but did Hilary Duff get abnormally large teeth implants lately? See for yourself on Ellen. Comedian Steve Harvey rounds out Monday’s lineup.
The Late Show With David Letterman
Bruce Willis is getting geared up for a fourth installment of Die Hard. On Monday, he chats with his friend Dave about 16 Blocks. The Strokes play a track from their newest album, First Impressions of Earth.
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
Colin Powell finally gets a chance to address some world issues without the shadow of Bush’s administration breathing down his neck. The winners from Sunday’s Dancing with the Stars finale perform, as does Johnny’s daughter Rosanne Cash.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Get ready for a week of Kelly Ripa and Jimmy Kimmel banter. She visits him while in L.A., and he returns the favor later this week on her show. Comedian and SNL alum, Tracy Morgan also appears.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien
Oh yes, he’s back. But not with a new episode until Tuesday. Revisit this Conan classic from December, with Jim Carey, and Isaac Hayes.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
The talented Terrence Howard speaks of his Oscar preparations, this year being his first. Eric Haney of CBS’s new drama The Unit also comes by.
Tuesday, February 28th
Live With Regis & Kelly
Live takes a trip to Los Angeles–Eva Longoria who officially crushes my dream of having a week of Desperate Housewife-free talk shows; and Howie Mandel welcomes the crew to the west coast. Also, a visit to the set of American Idol.
The View
The winning pair from Dancing with the Stars put their new moves on display.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Mardi Gras special–a show involving all things New Orleans. Dennis Quaid–who was actually filming in Louisiana when the storm hit–talks about what he’s done to help the area, and Ellen delivers an announcement regarding her efforts.
The Late Show With David Letterman
Barbara Walters talks to Dave about her lengthy career in making people cry like babies. Tyler James Williams, whom nobody hates, talks about playing a young Chris Rock.
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
Julie Scardina brings some Sea World animals to the set.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Stacy Keibler, who may or may not be the queen of Dancing with the Stars talks about her arduous experience. The Memphis rap group Three 6 Mafia, who will belt out their Oscar-nominated hit “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” from Hustle & Flow at the 78th Academy Awards, perform.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien
Bruce Willis joins to welcome Conan back to the airwaves and put the word out for his new film with Mos Def, 16 Blocks. Chloe from 24, Mary Lynn Rajskub also continues her week of publicity; and Boston punk band Dropkick Murphys perform.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
Regis Philbin takes a break from relaxing in the California sun to visit Craig. Comedian D.C. Benny does his act.
Wednesday, March 1st
Live With Regis & Kelly
Live in L.A.– Melina Kanakaredes from the ratings monster C.S.I., Jimmy Kimmel, and Earth Wind & Fire–featuring Brian McKnight–plays a tune.
The View
It’s going to take five men to unseal the door to her cryogenic chamber, but Joan Rivers will emerge to say hi. Tyler James Williams gets his cheeks pinched by the squad.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
I like her better than the other Housewives, because she is accomplished elsewhere. Felicity Huffman talks about her solid chances at receiving an Oscar. Eddie Cibrian of ABC’s hit show Invasion.
The Late Show With David Letterman
Sarah Jessica Parker sheepishly pretends that Failure to Launch is a good film. Terry Bradshaw cast in a main role? Eek!
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
Recovered from his case of chicken pox, Jason Lee swings by to hear Jay cackle. Country star-turned-actor Dwight Yoakam shares the couch.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Howie Mandel gears up for a new string of Deal or No Deal game shows. Rockers from Chicago, OK Go, perform.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien
The picture perfect Gisele Bundchen comes by to make Conan blush. Belle & Sebastian play a track from their newest album The Life Pursuit.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
Find out what TV-star John Larroquette has been up to these days. Nashville duo Big & Rich perform.
Thursday, March 2nd
Live With Regis & Kelly
Live in L.A. — Anthony LaPaglia from yet another popular CBS crime drama Without a Trace; and an Idol favorite from last season, Bo Bice performs from his new album.
The View
He and Christopher Walken sure do have a habit of showing up in almost every movie–Alec Baldwin talks about the seven movies he is currently appearing in.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Carl Reiner talks about his new book NNNNN his own updated, humor-laced exploration of the good old Genesis story that focuses on the relationship of Cain and Abel; an actual, real-life Cash–Rosanne Cash–performs.
The Late Show With David Letterman
Harry Connick Jr., who has been getting solid reviews in the Broadway show The Pajama Game, talks to Dave about the challenging schedule of a theater actor.
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
Congratulations Salma Hayek for being the first actress not rumored to be hooking up with Colin Farrell after being his co-star. They share the screen in Ask the Dust. In this appearance, she probably tells Jay how difficult it was to resist him. Well, actually she does play the Mexican barmaid that he gets obsessed with after praying to St. Theresa for inspiration.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien
The Office star Jenna Fischer arrives; and comic actor Dwayne Perkins.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
Roseanne shows up and keeps the spirit of her children’s video alive. Olympic Skier Jeremy Bloom drops in; and Wolfgang Puck discusses his Oscar menu.
Friday, March 3rd
Live With Regis & Kelly
Live in L.A.–sports fanatic Regis visits super star shooter Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers; we know he’ll be in heaven.
The View
Bruce Willis caps off his busy week of plugging the thriller 16 Blocks, to tell The View gals all his latest role as a hungover NYPD detective who has a bad day.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
The cast of Las Vegas descend; and Ellen catches up with Jon Stewart during rehearsal to see who he’s planning to offend with his Oscar monologue material.
The Late Show With David Letterman
The comedic mastermind behind The Office, and HBO’s Extras Ricky Gervais. The Subways perform.
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
It’s going to take a long time to forget his miserable duet with a duck in last year’s The Pacifier, Vin Diesel comes by Leno to discuss anything but that.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
No guests announced just yet for Friday’s Kimmel, but tune in Sunday night for his post Oscar show special edition.
Late Night With Conan O’Brien
Alec Baldwin probably can’t mention his awfully bitter divorce, but he’ll have a few jokes. The Derek Trucks Band performs, led by guitar guru Derek Trucks.
Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
The world’s prettiest action star Milla Jovovich of the new film Ultraviolet, Rolling Stone movie critic Peter Travers, and the rascal rock band All American Rejects are Craig’s Friday guests.
Happy viewing to all the unemployed folks, and also those nocturnal enough to catch all of these prime morsels of celebrity-soaked goodness. With remote control in hand–you have the power.
