FX
Fans of American Horror Story have lamented its current incarnation, Freak Show. As last night’s episode (“Orphans”) showed Pepper’s sister at Briarcliff Asylum and chills of terror shot through our whole body at the mere sound of yet-to-be-possessed Sister Mary Eunice’s voice, we realized just how far the show has fallen. Something seems amiss this time around. It doesn’t have the shock value Murder House had, the creepiness of Asylum, or the campy sass of Coven. We’re not exactly sure what it has going for it, but we know what it could use.
1. It needs a mystery to solve.
Murder House had…well, everything. Asylum had the mystery of Bloody Face. Coven had the biggest mystery of all: who would be the next Supreme? So far, Freak Show‘s only mystery is “where is this going?”
2. It needs something that’s actually scary.
The Rubber Man in Murder House was adequately creepy (okay, maybe really creepy). Some of Coven‘s witchcraft was mildly scary, as were the zombies that were summoned from the grave. Nothing holds a candle though to the terrifying Asylum season and its Nazi scientists, demonic nuns, and serial killers wearing masks of human flesh. Freak Show started really strong, its clown one of the most horrifying villains we’ve seen on TV in a long time…until he turned out to be a really sad character who left the show after only a few episodes (thus setting a trend for the rest of the season – “shocking” stories that end up leaving the viewer more depressed than anything).
3. It could use a lot more of Jessica Lange’s signature sass.
Something about the Freak Show makes us feel sad, particularly with Lange’s character. Her desire to be famous, her inability to control the show like she wants, and her struggles to connect with reality just make us sad. Where’s the ruthlessness of Constance Langdon? Or the colded-heartedness of Sister Jude? Or the relentless snark of Fiona Goode?
4. It needs more swoonworthy moments from Evan Peters (or maybe that’s just us?).
He played a mass murderer/ghost, an asylum resident, and a Frankenstein-esque zombie guard dog, yet every season he made us love him. This season’s Lobster Boy role is okay, but we’ve yet to feel weak in the knees like we normally do.
5. Less shock just for the sake of shock.
Don’t get us wrong, we love American Horror Story in all its campiness; we love how often the show features something that only Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk could get away with. The last three episodes have each featured a beheading. There have been several baths of blood. We saw several people slaughtered and floating in a swimming pool filled with blood. We saw a baby drown in a bathtub of blood (are we sensing a trend here?). We saw a man try to hang himself. There’s even been a tar and feathering scene. Through all of this, we haven’t batted an eye. It’s not working, we aren’t scared, we aren’t entertained. We’re waiting for these sorts of scenes to diminish, so we can get to an actual plot, to something mildly scary.
6. Most importantly, less depressing storylines.
We love how the writers are intentionally humanizing the “freaks,” making us see them as people, and making us fall in love with them in the process. Normally, we love how the show is able to dispose of characters however they see fit, since next season brings a new slate. We didn’t mind when we lost Patti LaBelle, or Matt Bomer (maybe our eyes did), or even our usual favorite, Frances Conroy. We were admittedly even a little relieved by the death of Kathy Bates‘ Ethel (mostly because of that accent). But we were crushed by the death of Ma Petite and even the death of Meep. Even the terrifying clown’s story brought a tear to our eye. After Pepper’s heartbreaking episode, we don’t know how much more we can take. The show has had its sad moments before — Murder House‘s Adelaide’s death, Asylum‘s Sister Jude’s fate — but this season has taken its toll on our heartstrings without any of the fun of its predecessors.
