I nearly killed myself waiting for this announcement. I have spent countless nights wide awake waiting for the official announcement of who would take over the three empty judges seats for this year’s American Idol. I didn’t eat. I didn’t use the bathroom. I barely breathed. But now, it is finally over. The news has been brought down from the mountain with such a rousing celebration from the people not heard since Moses returned from talking to a bush – Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are our two new American Idol Judges!
All hail the new gatekeepers to the next American Idol!
Wait, what do you mean we’ve basically known about this for weeks now? What do mean this was just the “official” announcement? What about my devotion? What about my eighteen ruptured bladders that I suffered through waiting with bated breath for this announcement? What about missing the birth of my first child? Does that not mean anything? Am I just hallucinating a personification of the news to vent my frustrations with the announcements?
Anyway, woo for American Idol. They got the biggest diva in the world and the guy who used to write for RUN-DMC (shamelessly stolen from a tweet). I can’t wait for Simon Cowell’s new show. Nice knowing you American Idol.
A 4th grader’s hand with a painted face would have been a better choice than J Lo.
Source: Today
