Not much is sure in the world — nobody knows when our economy isn’t going to make a pack of gum cost $16, or why people are putting real baby tigers in a suitcase filled with stuffed animal tigers, and we STILL don’t know how Gmail has so much storage space. But last night, one thing we suspected was proven correct, and it was that Anne Heche is certifiably crazy. David Letterman proved it to us by playing a clip of her in her early days playing twins on Another World, where even though one is a good twin and the other is a bad twin, she used the exact same facial expressions for both.
Jon Stewart pointed out how Glenn Beck chose the anniversary of MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech as the day he’ll “restore order” to the Lincoln Memorial. How is he defending his choice to use that day for his own reasons? First, it was free in his schedule, and second, he’ll be giving a speech on a stair that’s two stairs below the one MLK stood on. Any questions?
And, if by any chance you find yourself without a cab to take when you’re on your way home from work today, it’s probably because some jerk slashed a taxi driver because he was Muslim. So let this be a lesson to you: Stephen Colbert, pregnant women and dogs going to the vet on the other side of the city aren’t always to blame.