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Get Ready for Tonight’s Alien Invasion on ‘The Neighbors’

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ALTOver the next few months, we’ll see new series soar, old series sour, and so much Jersey Shore madness, we’ll want to shower. Let’s face it: The Fall TV season is intimidating. With dozens of new and returning shows hitting our small screens, we know we have some big choices to make. So, to help you determine what to watch, we’re digging deep into the most notable series premiering this season. Where did each show leave off? Where is it headed? And who should you watch it with? Next up is ABC’s big new fish out of water comedy The Neighbors. Except there are no fish, or water. But there are aliens!

New Series: The Neighbors

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Premiere Date: Wednesday, Sept. 26, at 9:30 PM

Tag Line: After 10 years of living in isolation in a suburban condo development next to a golf course, a group of aliens is finally invaded by one human family. They both think the other is strange, and they learn very valuable lessons about accepting people and becoming better people (or aliens). Awwwww.

Meet the Weavers: Lenny Venito is Marty, a fat bumbler in the Ralph Kramden sitcom mold. Jami Gertz is Debbie, the take charge mom. Clara Mamet is Amber, the angry teenager and Max Charles and Isabella Cramp are Max and Abby, the interchangeable cute little kids.

The Aliens: They are all named after sports stars, including the leader Larry Bird (Simon Templeman), his wife Jackie Joyner-Kersey (Toks Olagundoye), and their sons Reggie Jackson (Tim Jo) and Dick Butkus (Ian Patrick). Dick Butt Kiss. Giggle. Snort. When they cry, green goo comes out their ears, and they have a communication device called a Pupar, but it is out of batteries so they can’t call their home planet, Zabvron. When they change into their alien form, they sort of look like green fish that swallowed a basketball. They don’t eat, they nourish themselves by reading. And they all dress alike, have English accents, and are emotionally distant. Basically, it’s like liking in the U.K., but without “footie” stars.

People to Watch This With: Alf, Mork, Marvin, and French Stewart. What ever happened to that guy?

Puns Not Used in the Pilot: “Out of this world.” “Take me to your leader.” Anything about probes. X-Files jokes. Global domination. Ray guns.

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Awesome Movies Jami Gertz Was In: Sixteen Candles, Solarbabies, Less Than Zero, The Lost Boys, Twister.

If You Like This, You’ll Love: The Burbs, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Mars Needs Moms, Out of This World.

Required Showdown: There must be a race between the aliens’ two favorite modes of transportation: a flying saucer and a golf cart.

Punny Athlete Names They Need to Use: Jumbo Cummings, Gregor Fucka, Saatanan Saatana, Kim Yoo Suk, Eddie Stanky, Dick Felt, Dick Shiner, Dick Mast, Dick Pole, Dick Trickle, Johnny Dickshot, Pete LaCock, Misty Hyman, Destinee Hooker, DeWanna Bonner, Ron Tugnutt, Rusty Kuntz, Capt. Jack Glasscock. (I found all of these names here.)

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: ABC]

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