Gwyneth Paltrow donned a black turtleneck (probably wool instead of cashmere) and replaced her Oscar Blandi hair products with some Garnier to shoot her appearance on Glee, where she plays a substitute teacher. Up until now there have only been stills of her rendition of Rihanna’s “Umbrella, but today we got an extra large sea salt taffy in the form of this clip of Paltrow singing Cee-Lo’s “F**k You.” Have a looksie.
So, what’s the word? What do we think? Is this crazier than thinking your urine will turn blue if you pee in a pool? I think it is! She’s not doing anything “wrong,” per say — she’s hitting all her notes, touching all the “X’s” that are hidden on the floor with her feet, and inappropriately touching the male students like every female teacher I’ve ever known…but I do think it’s so stupidly awkward. It’s chin-up burning awkward. Maybe that’s from replacing the “fuck you” with “forget you.” Yeah, that’s it. “Forget you” is more in line with an Olivia Newton John utterance. I knew they weren’t going to keep the “fuck you” in the song because that conflicts with the fact that the characters think you can get a girl pregnant by sitting in a hot tub with her… but I was expecting it to at least be bleeped. But this is just more precious than the entire “The Babysitter’s Club” collection laminated and then lined up chronologically on a shelf. So no, that pain isn’t from an eyelash in your eye. It’s the pang of cringeworthy perfection.