Kristen Stewart Owns ‘Wolves’: Late Last Night

  Kristen Stewart Owns ‘Wolves’: Late Last Night

Eclipse opens tomorrow! I hope you’re planning on sleeping under your desk at work tomorrow night because there’s no way in vampires and werewolves you’ll make it past the fans outside the theaters and into your apartment before you’re due back in your cubicle. In fact, you’d have a better chance surviving an attack from a pack of Kristen Stewart‘s ‘wolves’ than being unaffected by Twihard mania. David Letterman held up a few pictures of her bad boys, and pointed out they look and snuggle like dogs — not wolves. She claims she has documentation that proves they are wolves. Also, photographs of them eating human arms!

Then, Letterman talked to Gary Faulkner, the guy who flew to Pakistan in search of Osama Bin Laden. I’m not going to criticize him too much because he made it so easy, anyone can do it.

The only thing more sure than nothing getting resolved during the G-8 and G-20 Summits is that there’ll be protesters! Jon Stewart reminded us how President Obama went to Canada and argued other countries should continue spending so as to stimulate the world’s economy, but other countries didn’t think that was such a good idea and advocated for an end to the deficits. So did he actually succeed at all up there? Not really! He couldn’t even convince new Britain Prime Minister David Cameron to drink his beer cold! Womp womp!

Stephen Colbert told us the world really is going to end, and there’s actually a way we can survive it: by creating our own fancy shmancy fallout shelter! Bring on the binge eating!