HEAVEN’S NO, NOT MICHAEL BOLTON! He was kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night, after he was sickened with a case of laryngitis and had to take things easy (there’s no other explanation for why he would begin his jive by emerging from a dog house to the tune of Elvis’ Hound Dog, except if he was trying to show how irony can still be cutesy, even after the tragedy of Mr. Segway dying when he crashed his segway).
Unfortunately, Michael Bolton danced like the puppet that people attach to their bodies to act as their dance partner if they don’t have any real person to dance with. In New York City, there’s a very talented dancer who dances in the Times Square subway station, and he attaches a female dummy to himself by wrapping her cotton arms around his neck and just whirls her around… but last night, Michael Bolton as the lady dummy could barely keep his Velcro hands attached to Chelsie’s neck. Here:
That poor girl. She danced the worst jive in the history of the show, and quite possibly, the universe! And that includes the ones performed with puppets for spare change!