Bravo
Hey Kids! This episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is sponsored by irony! Irony is when you say something but mean the opposite, often to a humorous effect. Dramatic irony, because let’s face it this show is a drama, is when the audience sees something happening that the characters don’t see and we enjoy it on a whole other level. The not-so lovely ladies of Atlanta are not afraid to tell it to you straight crooked in order to stay in the limelight.
The episode begins with Kenya Moore and an extra carrying legal briefs celebrating her “win.” She gets granted political amnesty for her alleged eviction using the case of America vs. Elle Woods c/o Legally Blonde for her defense. She told the judge there was no mens rea, or whatever. She gets greeted by “paparazzi” that included two random guys using cameraphones and a gentleman with a notepad. She has lunch with NeNe Leakes, who she just fought with last week, to hear her advice about mending fences with the ladies.
Meanwhile, Tina and Ike Cynthia and Peter are struggling with Cynthia’s mysterious “disease.” It turns out she has fibroids in her uterus which she has known since she first had her pre-teen child. But now she has a mysterious “baby bump” and can’t stop eating. It’s ironic she would work so hard to fabricate this health scare storyline when the slow destruction of her marriage feeds the drama of the show. Also, how mysterious is this disease (see how easy irony is to use?) if she knows she has it? She tries to convince her verbally abusive husband but he just reminds her to lose weight. If only he reminded her to return those copies of Sleeping with the Enemy, Enough and What’s Love Got To Do With It to Blockbuster she might never have to stress eat in the first place. She gets vindicated when the doctor confirms that she needs surgery. Peter show’s he’s a loving husband by saying, “I’m so glad that I’m not a selfish guy, because, if I was, then we wouldn’t really have a relationship.” He’s such a great husband. I mean that ironically of course.
NeNe likes to seem above it all but she wants to guide this entire season. Despite their blow-up last week, NeNe organizes mea culpa drinks with Kenya, Phaedra Parks and the girls to to clear the air and respct the “G code.” In the confrontation that follows, Kenya says, “I’m nobody’s whore and I’m nobody’s fool.” But aren’t you, Kenya? Aren’t you whoring out your self-respect for Bravo and acting a fool on national television? More importantly, was NeNe Leakes her original stripper name back in the day?
Porsha Williams spends the whole episode acting above it all with her divorce. Meanwhile, she’s bad-mouthing her husband whenever she can and being slightly materialistic. She shows no shame asking her mother for the master bedroom…while living rent-free. Did her materialism and selfishness ever pop up in her mind as reasons for divorce? Porsha also premieres a new pixie cut wig.
The coup de grace of irony is in Kandi land. Kandi Burruss heads to her mother’s new house to discuss her impending nuptials. I should mention this is Kandi’s old house. Miss Joyce loses it and goes off on Kandi about her fiance, Todd, taking advantage of her. It’s funny because this should come from a woman who is living in a hand-me-down house and capitalizing on her daugter’s success on a second-tier cable network show. Remember when reality shows were less about being ironic and more about getting real? Hopefully there will be a laugh track inserted soon.
The Episode 2 Awards!
Best New Word: snig dig – “Hey ladies, sorry if I interrupted your snig dig.” -Apollo
Best Hair Change: Kandi for most number of hair changes per episode.
Best Read of a Friend: “All this d**k in Atlanta, and you gotta text somebody else’s man. Girl, go on!” – NeNe Leakes
Best Read of a Friend in a Supporting Role: “Porsha’s new wig is very interesting…she has a very small head. Small heads mean little brains.” – Phaedra
Best Out Line Ever: “I know you wanna choke me right now.” – Miss Joyce (while leaving the room)
Most Necessary Comma in a Sentence: “He ain’t giving you a dime — he’s sleeping, eating on you.” – Miss Joyce
