Look. We know you love Scandal. We know you kind of want to be Olivia Pope. And we get that your Christmas wish list consisted of mainly Scandal-related paraphernalia. But the ABC drama series, now in the midst of a pretty epic third season, is a dangerous show to get addicted to, especially if you’ve been taking any relationship cues from the main characters. We love these guys, but here are a few Scandal folks you probably, definitely, should not call if you need some healthy advice on love.
Abby (played by Darby Stanchfield) has put her boyfriend through the ringer so many times, it’s sad. Poor David Rosen can’t get a break, with Abby stealing Cytron cards from him, lying to him to cover for Olivia Pope & Associates, and asking about a gazillion favors from him now that he’s the U.S. Attorney for Washington D.C. Now that the two are open about their job descriptions, Abby and David are a much better couple. But Abby’s a Gladiator first, which could prove detrimental to this relationship (again).
Cyrus has done so many horrible, awful, grimey things to his husband James, it’s difficult to know where to begin. There was that time he put a hit out on him. That time he got him a baby, just so James would stop working as a journalist and stop dipping into all of Cyrus’s political dirt. But all of that paled in comparison to the stunt he pulled this season. If you were ever thinking of getting ahead of your political opponent, probably don’t use your husband as sexual bait for that opponent’s closeted gay husband. Bad idea.
We love Fitz. But seriously. In three seasons we’ve watched him bounce back and forth between Olivia and his wife Mellie (okay, more Olivia than Mellie), plus there was that Amanda Tanner situation. We know he loves Olivia, but there was that one unforgivable, postcoital conversation they had in which he told Olivia, “I may not be able to control my erections around you, but that doesn’t mean I want you. We are done.” Ouch. And no.
Olivia herself has openly admitted on the show that she is a hot mess when it comes to love. She’s kind of a mistress, kind of not. She dated Senator Davis and pretty much led him on, refusing to tell him that she was totally still in love with the President. Then there was the Jake versus Fitz fiasco (actually, that may still be ongoing). Now don’t get us wrong — this all makes for great television. And this character has had some wonderful, empowering moments on the series. But we think it’ll be a while before Olivia finds herself in a drama-free relationship.