‘Weeds’ Recap: Synthetics

S7E8: Well, the classic Weeds cliffhanger seems to be back. Last week, we saw it coming as soon as she stepped foot in Demitri’s apartment, Zoya’s back and she’s pissed. But this week, the show delivered an ending that was just a little too out of control to completely predict and in essence the crux of it is that they’re all completely screwed.

“You’re a lifer, you will always work a system.” –Woman Running the Halfway House

The episode starts out just a little to akin to a soap opera for my tastes; and not the tolerable kind that masquerades as primetime television, but the 2 p.m. variety that somehow weaves witches and spirits into a town run by old money and ancient millionaires. We start right there in Demitri’s apartment where Zoya insists that Nancy belongs to her, they begin hooking up because Nancy realizes it’s the only way to get by with her betrayal – and because she’s totally turned on by Demitri watching from the other room. That Nancy; always such a dirty bird.

Meanwhile, Shane is off interning for the detective. Thankfully, he’s not eating cupcakes and refusing blowjobs from prostitutes like last week, but he is giving us a tour of New York City cop stereotypes 101. Estranged son? Check. (Though he gets extra points for the kid not being his biological son.) Drinking problem? Check. Drinking problem easily chucked out the window when said estranged son won’t accept gift of his non-biological grandfather’s watch from Shane, the messenger? Check. Shane gives the detective advice on how he can win his son back – basically, he shouldn’t be a total mess (like Nancy) so that when his son is ready, the boy will encounter him in a good light. Pretty sound advice from a little sociopath.

“You might want to go away because I don’t like you.” – Zoya

Finally, it all comes together in an elegant little sh*tstorm when Nancy brings Foster back to the apartment/shop. Silas promptly pushes him into the elevator and tries to send him home, but he’s completely wasted and makes his way back into the apartment. Boom, Demetri is also in the shop distributing Afghan weed, and speaking explicitly and loudly about it just before Zoya shows up and continues to talk about this new business venture. Now, Nancy’s still wired but can’t say anything because she doesn’t want Foster to know she’s spying on him because she’ll go back to prison if she fails to get information for the SEC. This spins out of control when Foster witnesses both Demitri and Zoya manhandling Nancy immediately after their romantic date and thus the giant clusterf**k set to classical music commences and it would almost be too cheesy if it didn’t hearken back to the old days of Weeds. Back when Nancy would be completely screwed beyond all get out and we’d sit on the edge of our seats waiting for the next episode because too many things went wrong and there’s no way she could weasel out of it. Well just like those days, we’re hotly anticipating next week’s episode, but we also know Nancy will use her wiles and dumb luck one way or another to wriggle out of it. It’s just a matter of how. Welcome back, classic Weeds, we’ve missed you.