In the absence of anyone laying a truly disastrous, Bjork-like swan egg on this year’s Oscar red carpet, our Worst Dressed list has to focus on the merely unflattering. Fortunately, there were enough unfashionable miscues to go around.
Melanie Griffith
Even without the cane and the plaster cast on her leg, Melanie would have been out of step with her ombre celadon pleated silk chiffon gown with embroidery by Versace–even the pretty long diamond drop earrings by Harry Winston can’t offset the look of a bedazzled mother-of-the-bride, and that age inappropriate sheer panel over her backside frankly only works for Antonio. A limp effort from the limping lady.
Gisele Bundchen
Here’s Victoria’s real Secret: whatever supermodel Gisele was wearing underneath had to be far more sexy than her white, strapless, gold-embroidered Christian Dior couture gown–the high empire waist decimated any hint of the poser’s sculpted, statuesque physique and indeed–tabloid mags, start your engines–left her looking a little preggers.
Penelope Cruz
Penelope’s Spanish coloring was definitely enhanced by the canary-yellow Oscar de la Renta’s strapless silk gown, but the gigantic oversized bow in the back kept the dress from singing–from the back she looked like a gift that Tom Cruise returned. The Chopard jewels help, but her 1960 prom queen-bouffant hairdo not only overshadows her exquisite features, it just can’t be good for the ozone. Even Penelope decided this look wasn’t working: she switched into a forest green de la Renta for the Vanity Fair bash.
Laura Linney
Perhaps the usually stylish and spot-on Laura had her nerves frayed by her Oscar nomination, making her J. Mendel asymmetrically cut frock with exposed seams, frayed bodice and tiers of frayed fabric at the hem a symbolic but still poor choice, made worse by her highly moussed faux-mullet. “It’s a bit like choosing a wedding dress–you just kind of know,” said Laura of her “profoundly comfortable” pick. We say she should ask for a divorce.
Drew Barrymore
There was little Angelic about Drew’s choice of a jet-black Versace and her too-brown tresses, which left her looking like an Angelina-wannabe. Perhaps the dark turn was a sign of mourning: “I just turned 30 this week,” proclaimed Drew.
