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‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Recap: Kris’ Pee Problem

S6E6: We’ve seen butt x-rays, flesh-eating diseases (that turn out to be nothing more than psoriasis), it was only a matter of time before we dealt with bladder control issues. This show certainly has a way of giving us way more information than we would ever want to know. That’s probably why this episode felt like it took me four hours to watch it.

“My mom isn’t pregnant but she has the bladder of like a 20-month pregnant person.” -Khloe

Khloe and Kourtney are sick and tired of their mother peeing herself all the time, which is apparently a real thing on just a I’m-giggling-so-hard-it’s-like-I’m-going-to-pee sort of thing. The sisters’ plan is to just shame their mother into making a doctor’s appointment to fix the problem. But being as this is an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, things get ridiculous before they are sealed up with a smiley face and a giant, glitter-covered red bow.

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From shopping in LA to having dinner with most of the family at an Indian restaurant, the girls are relentless. Eventually, Kris gets fed up and stops talking to both of them. If she wasn’t so difficult, I’d feel bad for her, but I kind of enjoy seeing her squirm after all the stress she puts on her daughters. Of course this doesn’t last and she ends up making an appointment, whining about old age like she’s the only person it’s ever happened to, and talking about kegel exercises at an alarming rate.

Just as suddenly as she whipped out that story about her sex tape with Bruce at family dinner, Kris is suddenly okay with her pee problems and she’s even got a sponsorship deal with a pad company. The rest of episode looks and sounds like a promo video you’d find on Depends’ website. I guess we should be used to this fame-whoring by now.

“First thing in the morning, we’re taking it all back.” –Bruce

“Mom will let us keep them, Kylie. It’s okay.” -Kendall

Is there something wrong with Kylie? We get to another family dinner and she’s crawling on Kris like a monkey, texting her friends and grunting and squealing while her parents are trying to have dinner with her. Kendall’s not so great either, turning away the gourmet dinner made by the family’s in-house chef. Life is tough.

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We proceed to watch Bruce, sweet Bruce wrestle with his two out-of-control teenagers. They ditch dinner to go see friends. They interrupt his stress-relieving day of flying toy helicopters when their shopping spree triggers Bruce’s credit card fraud alert. When he confronts them about this, it’s like they’ve never heard the word “no” before.

Was anyone else seething when he told them to take their clothes back and they just said their mom would let them keep it?

Luckily, we get a break from the pee and the whining brats to see Kris Humphries snuggle with Kim on a cliff in Malibu where she tells him he’s “romantical.” It would have a bit more romantical if he’d taken a moment to warn her that 5-inch heels are a terrible footwear choice for hiking beachside cliffs.

Finally, Bruce decides to take the girls to a mission in downtown LA so they can appreciate their own lives. It wouldn’t have come across as so cheesy if they didn’t overlay it with that twangy reality show sappy soundtrack. Kim wants to go, but she’s got to plug her involvement with Sears so she can’t, but Kourtney manages to come along to show the girls how to react appropriately to everything they’re seeing.

They see the food at the shelter and they see where one of the young girls lives with her family and they start to feel a little regret for their behaviors. They look at skid row and listen to back stories and suddenly they appreciate everything they have. I’m glad the girls got some perspective, but I still don’t think that will keep them from talking back to their mother or going on shopping sprees or being completely spoiled.

Is anyone else annoyed that Kim just shows up for two seconds in these episodes? Isn’t she the reason we’re watching this season? Aren’t we looking to watch her relationship with Kris bloom into an engagement?

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