‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Recap: Dropping the Ball

The Real Housewives of AtlantaBravo

Atlanta is starting to feel like a show within a show. The ladies seem to be orchestrating storylines and fights left and right. It’s starting to feel less genuine than NeNe Leakes’ hair color. Everyone’s reaction to last week’s fight seems like it will inform the rest of the season. After all, there’s nothing like a physical altercation to define a season.

Kenya Moore is trying to mend fences. Her standing up to walk over to Natalie seems to be what the ladies are agreeing caused the fighting. In her defense, she didn’t seem that instrumental in escalating things. She didn’t get physical, and Apollo Nida did seem hungry for a fight. Plus, NeNe gathered all these knuckleheads together and stirred the pot. It was clear Kenya just was trying to get into the same shot because it’s not a fight unless you’re in the same frame. Regardless, NeNe has iced out Kenya so she decides to have a masquerade ball to try and get NeNe’s forgiveness. She keeps describing it as Eyes Wide Shut. Good luck trying to keep that forgettable film on people’s minds. If she was going to have a theme party based on a Tom Cruise movie, why not make it Rock of Ages ? Hair bands, bad singing, and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the throes of a bipolar episode.

Kandi Burruss is subjecting us to both her drama with her momma and the musical based on said drama. In case you’re wondering, that’s vertical integration. She even takes a second to do product placement for Phaedra Parks’ exercise video. Porsha Stewart auditions for her musical. Once again, we’re forced to watch an audition when we know Kandi will take whoever she can convince to star in A Mother’s Love: My Mom’s Trippin based on the novel Push by Sapphire. In Momma Joyce news, Carmon (who doesn’t know how to spell her own name) called a girl who was spreading gossip about her and Todd Tucker. This causes Momma Joyce to call to threaten her. Carmon plays the voicemail for Kandi and this causes major friction between her and Todd. Todd even says that if she doesn’t do something about her mother he might consider leaving. That doesn’t really say much for his loyalty. Also, he and Carmon do seem a little sketchy in agreeing that maybe Kandi needs therapy.

Kenya starts to bond with Marlo Hampton, who, as usual, is dying to be on the show. Kenya visits Lawrence Washington and Marlo is there so they bond over being on the outs with NeNe. Kenya shares the idea of having her ball benefit NeNe’s favorite charity. She also points out that all the ladies have opened the e-vite. Who sends e-vites without following up? It’s so easy to RSVP for an e-vite and not show up. If you plan on dropping quite a few bills on a huge charity event why not invest in a group text at least. Marlo and Cynthia help Kenya with her own auditions of Atlanta’s most desperate bachelors. She plans on auctioning them off for charity.

Porsha, not to be left out of the limelight, decides to have the girls experiment in roller derby. What better way to eleviate group tension than to body check each other on skates. Everyone but NeNe shows up. Kenya apologizes to the group for her involvement in the altercation. She invites them all to her ball and they all make up other plans. Apparently, there’s an envelope opening that they all must attend. 

Kenya’s ball arrives. She decides to wear a dead peacock mask to get in the spirit. Cynthia is there with a couple of NeNe’s forgettable friends. Kenya invites NeNe to speak as the guest of honor. NeNe takes the opportunity to say something obnoxious and walks off stage. Despite her feelings about Kenya and as contrived as the event might be, it doesn’t paint NeNe in a good light. It’s rude to disrespect someone who invites you to an event. Kenya doesn’t seem the type to attempt a character assassination of this level. Peter Thomas is disgusted by NeNe’s behavior yet leaves the party and further embarasses Kenya. He admits he’s turned off by NeNe’s behavior. NeNe proceeds to get into his face but accuse him of overstepping. But there is no amount of yelling to make her look guiltless in this situation. Ironically, she approached Peter more aggressively than Kenya approached Natalie in the first place. 

Salty Lines from the Night

“From that last time I saw her…her voice’s not that good.” –Don Juan about Porsha’s singing 

“I don’t get to look at six-packs all night long. My husband’s 52.” –Cynthia

“I love me some grilled hot dogs.” –A real line from Kandi’s play

“Porsha, at least you can learn your character’s name.” –Kandi stating the obvious

“Cynthia is wobbling but at least she’s trying…unlike the I-never-do-anything twins.” –Kenya about Phaedra Parks and Kandi

“You old lowdown heifer.” –Momma Joyce to Carmon

“Really, NeNe! You don’t have a job right now. You don’t have time to open your email?” –Kenya about her e-vite