Imagine you take over someone’s job after he is let go. Imagine you find out you’re making $500,000 less per week than your predecessor. Imagine that, even after that decrease, you’re still making $700,000 (which would mean that he made $1,200,000). Now imagine that your job is trading sex jokes with a teenaged boy. Finally, imagine that all this is taking place during a time of unparalleled economic turmoil. It’s fun to pretend.
Ashton Kutcher, in his upcoming Two and a Half Men role as Walden Schmidt, broken-hearted internet billionaire who buys his way into the lives of the remaining Harpers after the death of Uncle Charlie, will be making $700,000 per Men episode, whereas Charlie Sheen made $1,200,000. Despite the difference, Kutcher will inherit Sheen’s ranking as the highest paid actor on television right now. This means that Sheen made half a million dollars an episode more than the second highest paid television actor. This was easier to swallow when we were doing it as a hypothetical.
In any event, Two and a Half Men’s anticipated new season will begin September 19.