We rank the good, the bad and the really ugly in direct-to-DVD sequels — released since our last batch. Learn who’s now afraid of the Boogeyman, why the staff at Shenaniganz are still Waiting on us, and what happens when its Open Season again on Boog and Elliot …
10. Ace Ventura Jr. Pet Detective
Cast: Josh Flitter, Emma Lockhart and Ralph Waite
The Verdict: Allriiiighty-then. No one in Hollywood’s learned the lessons of Dumb and Dumberer, Evan Almighty and Son of the Mask. We don’t care for a sequel — especially one now aimed at kindergarteners — to a Jim Carrey blockbuster if it doesn’t star the actual rubber-faced funnyman. It’s impossible to expect any 14-year-old kid to nail Carrey’ spastic ways. License to Wed’s Flitter is miscast as Ventura’s son. Every facial gesture and zinger made by Flitter seems so strained. Director David Mickey Evans stages Junior’s maiden case — involving the abduction of a panda from his mom’s zoo — by rehashing gags from Ace Ventura in clumsy, obvious fashion for 5-year-olds who think farting in a skunk’s face is the height of hilarity. Hopefully, Junior’s first case is his last.
DVD Features: Extended Scenes; Gag Reel; and Ace and His Animals, Ace Ventura Jr.: The Inside Story, Austin and Emma, All Play and No Work, Now Introducing … the Animals and Ox the Dog featurettes.
Stars: 1 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 9 …
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9. Boogeyman 3
Cast: Erin Cahill and Chuck Hittinger
The Verdict: Paging the Queer Eye guys — the Boogeyman desperately needs a makeover. This supernatural force of evil represents the physical manifestation of our deepest, darkest fears. But who’s scared of an unstoppable killing machine that looks like the Wicked Witch of the West on a bad hair day? Sartorial challenges aside, the Boogeyman has no problem terrifying some dope-smokin’ oversexed college students in this threequel. The main problem with Boogeyman 3 is that the victims — including the overwrought Cahill — have no reason to fear what’s in their closet. Director Gary Jones throws a lot of psychobabble at us to justify flooding a college dorm with blood, but none of it sticks. Nothing’s more frightful, though, than the climax’s threat of a fourth visit by the Boogeyman.
DVD Features: Deleted Scenes; and Creating the Boogeyman, Deconstructing the Deaths and Boogey in Bulgaria featurettes.
Stars: 1 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 8 …
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8. Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling
Cast: Oliver James, Kristopher Turner, Rik Young, Madison Riley, Amber McDonald and Jerry Rice
The Verdict: Remember the feces-flinging tree girls Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard encountered on their bromantic camping trip? Their tree house is now home to the equally hot hippies Earthchild and Thunderstorm (Riley and McDonald). And it’s the task of our unfunny new trio of morons (James, Turner and Young) to find and then reunite Earthchild with her dying grandmother. These hapless heroes naturally capsize, resulting in countless dull-witted Deliverance-derived bonding experiences. It’s all very tame stuff, even after James and Turner come under the uninhibited Earthchild’s spell. As a mountain man who claims to be Al Gore’s brother, NFL great Rice proves to be as ineffective as he was during his brief tenure with the Seattle Seahawks. Where’s Burt Reynolds when you need him?
DVD Features: Up the Creek: The Making of Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling, Furious Nuts, Treehouse featurettes; Deleted Scenes; Gag Reel.
Stars: 1 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 7 …
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7. Return to Sleepaway Camp
Cast: Vincent Pastore, Isaac Hayes, Alan Gibney and Felissa Rose
The Verdict: For his return to Sleepaway Camp, director Robert Hiltzik’s ignored all previous sequels to his 1983 cult slasher yarn. Return the favor by ignoring his embarrassing follow-up. He can’t decide whether to rip off Friday the 13th or Meatballs. So you have to suffer through the laugh-free taunting of camp loser Alan (the greasy Gibney) before the slayings begin. Shame the incompetent Hiltzik who botches every grisly murder he stages — there’s nothing inventive about the way he dispatches the campers. You’re also hoping the obnoxious Alan’s the first to go, but no such luck. Much is made about whether Sleepaway Camp’s Angela (Rose) is on another rampage. You also deserve to be dropped into a deep fat fryer if you can’t immediately pick out the killer.
DVD Features: Behind the Scenes featurette; Interviews; Photo Gallery; “Return to Sleepaway Camp” Song.
Stars: 1 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 6 …
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Cast: Agnes Bruckner, David Moscow and Scott G. Anderson
The Verdict: We know how serial killer Smith’s (Anderson) snuff filmmaking career ended. Now we learn why he turned his murderous habits into a profitable side business. He was filmed killing a woman in a motel — not the one run by Vacancy’s sorely missed Frank Whaley — where the owners secretly videotaped amorous couples. Smith struck a deal with them to meet the demand for snuff films. Director Eric Bross addresses the inherent problem with this prequel —Smith’s obviously going to survive his encounter with his first costars, including a no-nonsense Brucker—in an effective manner. But Bross doesn’t add anything new to Smith’s repertoire. Accordingly, there’s little tension to be found in the recycling of Vacancy’s twist and turns. Guess not all first cuts are the deepest.
DVD Features: Filmmakers and Cast Commentary; Deleted Scenes; and Caught on Tape: Behind the Scenes of Vacancy 2 and Behind the Façade: Constructing the Meadow View Inn featurettes.
Stars: 2 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 5 …
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5. Pulse 2: Afterlife / Pulse 3
Pulse 2: Afterlife Cast: Jamie Bamber and Georgina Rylance
Pulse 3 Cast: Brittany Finamore, Rider Strong and Georgina Rylance
The Verdict: If you know that the virus that allows ghosts to walk the Earth is spread via the Internet, would you check your e-mail? Unlikely. But you’re not Battlestar Galactica’s Bamber, whose curiosity not just gets the better of him but sets up the beginning of the end of this soul-sucking trilogy. In Afterlife, Bamber does everything he can to stop his dead wife (Rylance) from getting her ghostly hands on their young daughter Justine. Does he succeed? Well, let’s just say that in Pulse 3, the fate of mankind rests on the shoulders of a teenage Justine (High School Musical 3’s Finamore). Writer-director Joel Soisson deserves some credit for at least concocting two sequels that not just relate directly to each other but wrap up events in a fairly satisfactory manner. Unfortunately, a modem dial-up connection moves faster than these two plodding chillers. Also, the atrocious green-screen backgrounds work against Soisson by taking you out of the post-virus, low-tech world he endeavors to create (the filmmakers apologize for their over-reliance on green screens during their Pulse 3 commentary). Perhaps this is proof that we could all benefit from a little less technology in our lives.
Pulse 2: Afterlife DVD Features: Commentary with writer/director Joel Soisson et al.; Deleted Scenes.
Pulse 3 DVD Features: Commentary with writer/director Joel Soisson et al.; Pulse 3 Behind the Scenes featurette.
Stars: 2 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 4 …
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Cast: Gina Holden, Jana Pallaske and Lance Henriksen
The Verdict: At the end of the 1995 adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s Second Variety, those self-replicating, ever-evolving killing machines known as screamers almost made it off the war-torn Sirius 6B. Turns out Peter Weller blew up his spaceship rather than let loose a screamer on Earth. So you know from the get-go that the screamers will attempt to sneak aboard an earthbound rescue ship before a meteor storm pounds Sirius 6B. Unlike its droning predecessor, which took on Weller’s bone-dry personality, The Hunting spins faster than a buzz saw and boasts flashier special effects. Director Sheldon Wilson shows no interest in pursuing the political ideologies that informed Screamers, but he does know how to get the maximum amount of blood and carnage out of the noisy screamers.
DVD Features: Screamers: The Hunting Behind the Scenes featurette.
Stars: 3 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 3 …
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Cast: John Michael Higgins, Rob Benedict, Alanna Ubach, Luis Guzmán, Chi McBride and Justin Long
The Verdict: It’s usually a bad sign when the filmmaker’s commentary is funnier than the comedy it accompanies. But this second helping of Clerks gone wild in a chain restaurant serves up some agreeably tasteless laughs. “They’re hawking hot wings and camel toes,” a hilariously harried Higgins exclaims in typically desperate fashion about the Hooters-like joint that’s luring customers away from the Shenaniganz he manages. Still Waiting doesn’t boast a signature moment à la the staff adding something special to a disgruntled diner’s meal, but director Jeff Balis offers enough outrageous “ew!” moments to make you think twice about eating out. Balis’ chummy commentary with writer Rob McKittrick is hysterical, while Dane Cook and Ryan Reynolds haters will devour the deleted scenes that mock this sequel’s no-shows.
DVD Features: Commentary with director Jeff Balis and writer Rob McKittrick; Outakes; Deleted Scenes; and Sloppy Seconds featurette.
Stars: 3 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 2…
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2. Feast III: The Happy Finish
Cast: Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, Diane Ayala Goldner and Tom Gulager
The Verdict: The Happy Finish? Admittedly, this final helping of blood, guts and gore never lets up—it’s as delightfully disgusting and wickedly funny as its predecessors, as evidenced by its first death. But director John Gulager runs out of ideas as soon as Sloppy Seconds’ survivors resume battling those horny creatures of unknown origin. He shamefully rehashes Feast’s most uproarious moment. He kills off one character too early, keeps one around too long, and turns another into a hybrid with little reward. And that ending? The commentary by Gulager et al suggests they didn’t know how to wrap things up like a doggie bag. Too bad that the third course of this inventively prepared Feast will leave you with a slightly bad taste in your mouth.
DVD Features: Commentary with director John Gulager, writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan, and producer Michael Leahy; and A Look Back at John Gulager featurette.
Stars: 3 out of 5
KEEP READING: See No. 1 …
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Voice Cast: Joel McHale, Mike Epps, Jane Krakowski, Billy Connolly and Crispin Glover
The Verdict: No Martin Lawrence, no Ashton Kutcher, no worries. This rollicking sequel to the underwhelming Open Season puts Boog and Elliot’s bromance to the test when Mr. Weenie is dognapped by his concerned canine pals. They naturally create all sorts of havoc — especially during a side-splitting showdown at a spa for pampered pups — in their bid to rescue Mr. Weenie before he’s reunited with his human owners. The ringleader is the fiendish poodle Fifi, who’s voiced with comically chilling controlled fury by Glover. As Boog, Epps is a suitable sub for Lawrence. McHale, though, is too mature and mannered to make us forget Kutcher’s manic Elliot. Still, Kutcher’s absence doesn’t stop Open Season 2 from being a surprisingly enjoyable second visit to the Timberline National Forest.
DVD Features: Games; Going Wild! With Voice Cast and How to Draw Boog, Elliot & Fifi featurettes; Deleted Scenes; the Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out” Music Video; and Wacky Weenie Arcade Online Activities.
Stars: 3 out of 5
