The opening sequence of its third-season premiere is pure, perfect Desperate Housewives.
Everything feels right as the late Mary Alice begins her familiar narration of the tale unfolding before us, once again enhancing the drama at hand after seeming like an otherworldly outsider last season. She’s telling the sad story of three people: An unhappy housewife seeking a change in her life, her control-freak husband and her caring neighbor.
Even though Mary Alice introduces the scene by revealing, “something awful happened on Lakeview Drive last year,” it takes a few moments to fully realize that none of these characters are residents of Wisteria Lane. Only the man is familiar: He’s horrible Orson Hodge, the creep who ran down Mike at the end of last season. The unhappy wife is Alma, who is desperately planning to run away after Orson leaves for work. The caring neighbor is Carolyn Bixby, a woman with a name that is the very stuff of sit-comedy. She briefly evokes very fond memories of the late and much-missed busybody Mrs. Huber from season one.
“Like most nosey neighbors,” Mary Alice says of Carolyn, “she knew you learned more if you didn’t knock.”
Indeed, Carolyn enters the Hodge home at a most inopportune time, setting the stage for major conflicts to come in the more familiar territory of Wisteria Lane.
The action then moves to six months ago, quickly reviewing the plotlines from the end of season two. Gabrielle is meeting with her divorce lawyer. Bree and Orson are dating. Susan is at the hospital bedside of comatose Mike. Lynette is getting to know Tom’s illegitimate daughter. Edie–no longer deformed with bee-sting welts–is preparing to sell the Young house, now that Mary Alice’s murderous husband is behind bars and her newly wealthy son has left the area. After that, Housewives jumps to the present and quickly begins moving forward.
If the opening scene at the Hodge home makes clear that series creator Marc Cherry and new executive producer Jeff Greenstein intend to restore the unique tone of the show, the first few minutes of the present-day storytelling suggest that they are going to make it funny again, too. Edie is hosting an open house at the Young residence, which still hasn’t sold, and sparring furiously with meddlesome Mrs. McCluskey (played to perfection by the invaluable Kathryn Joosten, who won an Emmy for this role two years ago and should be promoted to series regular).
As the episode progresses, it is punctuated with much welcome humor, some of it certain to irritate the politically correct, all of it totally in tune with the characters involved. Arguing with a very pregnant Xiao-Mei, the woman with whom her husband Carlos had an affair, Gabrielle hisses, “I can’t wait for you to pop out that baby, because when you do I am putting you on the first plane back to Shanghai and you’re going to be on all fours in a rice paddy before the epidural wears off.” After Xiao-Mei protests, Gabrielle sneers, “Tell it to my Chinese friend, Sue Me!”
Later, when persnickety Orson cleans streaks from Bree’s already sparkling wine glasses and reveals other hip tips for household maintenance, perfectionist Bree is so turned on the two immediately hit the sheets. When Orson attempts to perform oral sex on her, Bree quietly protests. “I don’t do that. I’m a Republican!”
It is wonderful to report that Desperate Housewives seems to be back on track after a truly trying year. (The Applewhites! Susan’s spleen! Lynette’s office politics! Edie the arsonist!) The many parts of the show once again feel connected, by theme and tone and characterization and most importantly by an overriding sense of neighborhood. (The most successful serials in the history of daytime and primetime have always been centered in a solid, well-defined environment that practically functions as a character itself.) The Women of Wisteria Lane seem once again to be effortlessly involved in each other’s lives in exactly the manner viewers fondly remember from season one.
To be sure, there are still tiresome story elements in play. The woefully overdone Klutzy Susan Thing hits a new low in this episode when she spills a smoothie on a comatose woman. (Susan’s new storyline, however, has great potential.) Smart and sexy Lynette continues to suffer fools for no apparent reason, now caving to the demands of nutty Nora, the mother of Tom’s daughter Kayla. (Tom, sadly, has yet to grow a pair.) Bree is romantically paired with still another nut job. (The murder of her husband Rex at the end of season one was a critical error in judgment on the part of the producers and writers. Fractious Bree and Rex were fabulous together, even when they were apart.) The once vital Mike still has nothing interesting to do. (Now the poor guy’s in a coma! What did the actor who portrays Mike, James Denton, do to deserve this?)
But if this episode is any indication, Cherry and Co. are assuredly restoring the series’ unique mixture of humor, romance, mystery, madness and melodrama. Many problems have been identified and addressed, and the show seems poised to excitingly come back to life in all of its former glory. It has been reported that there will be a shocking death of a major character in a few weeks that will further drive the drama. (We’re betting it’s one of the men, all of whom seem expendable.) The imminent return of Bree’s bad seed Andrew and the introduction of Josh Henderson as Edie’s hunky nephew Austin should ignite additional sparks.
The bottom line: Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Nicollette Sheridan are still fun to watch, and Brenda Strong (as Mary Alice) is once again a pleasure to hear. What a relief! A return to form for Desperate Housewives could be the best news of this new season.
The third season of Desperate Housewives begins September 24 at 9 p.m. ET.
