1. Hilary Duff‘s Chihuahua, for all the dinero she’ll be bringing in via a spiffy new canine sponsorship. The pup Lola has launched her own internet blog on the fan-club-only section of Duff’s official Web site. Lola’s first post? An endorsement of a dog-care book written by the owner of a Maltese playmate.
2. Speaking of Chihuahuas…Kevin Federline, for his fast food nation values. Britney Spears’ hubby and baby daddy to Shar Jackson said he expects his kids to earn a living from an early age. Who wants better for their kids anyway? “It’s completely unfair when a child is brought into this world and now he’s already looked at like a prince,” K-Fed told US Weekly. “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me… My kids are gonna work at Taco Bell.”
3. Jessica Alba, for spilling the beans on the new Marvel character set to join the Fantastic Four sequel. “The four of us learn that there are other people out there with superpowers, and the Silver Surfer appears as a villain/hero,” Alba told USA Today. We’re also secretly relieved the star won’t be chopping off her lustrous locks like she did before. “I went blond for the first one, but I might try a wig for the sequel. I had to chop my hair off because it got so damaged [from the hair dye].”
4. David Copperfield, for one-upping magic nemisis David Blaine. Copperfield claims he will impregnate a woman live onstage without even touching her. “There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. I’m going to make a girl pregnant. Naturally there will be no sex,” the illusionist told PageSix.com. We have a lot of questions too, believe you me.
5. Anna Nicole Smith, for really loving the press. While most stars are busy attacking members of the paparazzi, Smith was busy getting impregnated by one. Smith confirmed Thursday she was indeed expecting a baby girl fathered by celebrity photojournalist Larry Birkhead.
6. The cast of Grey’s Anatomy, for getting their just desserts. Stars including Ellen Pompeo, Sandra Oh, Patrick Dempsey and Kate Walsh have reportedly received a surprise financial gift from Touchstone TV–a $200,000 bonus. Nice try, Touchstone, but we bet the cast still pushes for a salary increase before shooting a third season, followed by subsequent whining about their too modest storylines.
7. Winona Ryder, for attempting to resurrect her edgy It girl status. Ryder is reuniting with Heathers scribe Daniel Waters for Sex and Death 101. We’re so ready for Ryder to make a comeback. Let’s hope there is no statute of limitation on asking questions about the whole shoplifting thingy.
8. Michelle Rodriguez, for not giving up on her wild ways–even if it means doing time. When asked if she planned to curb her wild ways, Rodriguez–who recently served two different jail drunk driving and violating probation–said she doesn’t have a drinking problem: “My father threw up his liver. If I were going to be an alcoholic, I’d know it by now.” Nicely put.
9. Mariah Carey, for putting her money where her legs are. Carey inked a deal with Gillette’s Legs of a Goddess campaign and has since insured her long limbs legs for a billion dollars, according to published reports. What can we say? She’s got legs, she knows how to use them.
10. Charlie Sheen, for his legendary bedding habits. The Two and a Half Men star came in at No. 2 in Maxim‘s Top 10 “Living Sex Legends” list for allegedly doing the deed with 5,000 women. (Note: Buying it off Heidi Fleiss doesn’t nullify the tally). But here’s the shocking part: Sheen lost the No. 1 title to some Venetian hotel porter (Umberto Billo), who claims 8,000 conquests.
