1. Lindsay becomes a walking contradiction… “I’ve been going to AA–for a year, by the way. It’s no one’s business. That’s why it’s anonymous,” Lindsay Lohan tells weekly publication People. “I haven’t had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I’m not even legal, so why would I? I don’t drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there’s no need to.” According to our calculations, that’s one year of counseling for a year on the wagon. But we’re more perturbed by the revelation Lindsay thinks the legal drinking age doesn’t apply in her home.
2. Lifestyles of the rich and the famous… Nicole Richie is free on $15,000 bail after being arrested for driving under the influence Monday. But we care more about the tantalizing subplots that have come out of the arrest. 1) Nicole was pulled over by CHiPs 2) Nicole was reportedly visiting new boyfriend, Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden (have we been asleep at the wheel?) and 3) Nicole was listed on her arrest record as being 5-foot-1 and 85 pounds.
3. Who knew Tori could haggle…. Tori Spelling held the world’s most delicious yard sale at her Studio City home last weekend. “I had to break away from the past and be ready to start anew,” Tori tells People magazine. Items up for sale included a used Sephora lip-gloss for $1, her dog Mimi La Rue’s shampoo for $20, and a used pair of Marc Jacobs designer round-toe shoes for $125. Shoppers were required to sign release forms before they were allowed to enter the house.
4. Paris gets all loyal and stuff… Paris Hilton is defending her new BFF Britney Spears on her MySpace page, insisting partying and motherhood go hand-in-hand. “For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling… She goes home every night to her babies and partying has not come in the way of her parenting.” Yeah, it’s not so much her partying ethic as it is the driving with the baby on her lap thing.
5. But loyalty means jack to Brit… The blossoming friendship between Britney and Paris has reportedly run its course. According to PageSix.com, Britney‘s new management team suggested she stop hanging out with the socialite if she ever wants to make a successful comeback. Britney even apologized to her fans for her excessive partying on her Web site last week. Work over Paris, that’s a bummer.
6. And Cletus hocks a loogie at Brit… Kevin Federline is threatening to write a tell-all book about his marriage to Britney if he doesn’t receive the divorce settlement he feels he deserves. In case you forgot, Cletus wants sole custody of their two children and a settlement of at least $20 million. And that increases the likelihood of a book, which Star magazine says could include details about Britney‘s alleged belief in time travel. Does Cletus know where Brit is hiding tourists from the future?
7. Working 9-5 is tough for Jess… When Jessica Simpson forgot the lyrics to a song during a tribute to Dolly Parton, we felt sorry for her. Now Jess is being criticized for forgetting her lines on the set of the Working Girl remake. Could it be the ‘80s film gods are upset the classic Melanie Griffith starrer is being remade?
8. Angelina is sounding like a broken record… Angelina Jolie insists she never wanted to ruin Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston‘s marriage, claiming her relationship with the Mr. and Mrs. Smith star “just happened.” Yes, yes, we know. Jennifer has finally moved on, so should she because the plot of this stale tale is getting old.
9. And 24 doesn’t need stars like her… “You can’t put those people on (the show) because they’re too recognizable. They’ll take you (viewers) out of the reality.” That’s 24 executive producer Joel Surnow. While we agree guest stars can ruin a show (remember Will, Grace & Guest Stars?), we wonder if the decision to snub Jennifer Aniston was a good one. We so would have tuned in–and completely stayed in the reality of scripted TV.
10. His girl wants to party all the time… Eddie Murphy reportedly hired private eyes to follow baby momma Melanie Brown after he was convinced she was cheating on him—and subsequently dumped her when photos of her meeting a male friend in L.A. were produced. Now Eddie is demanding a DNA test to determine whether he’s the baby daddy. Considering Eddie already has seven little ones, we suspect this one’s probably his. And that’s no way to treat your baby momma.
