OK, so she labored for days giving birth to us. But for every “good” mom who brought us chicken soup and gave us bad haircuts, there’s a not-so-good one who may have put a little arsenic in that soup or used those scissors to cut, um, other things. So instead of celebrating those wonderful onscreen moms in our Mother’s Day’s spotlight, let’s hear it for the moms who aren’t so loving, can be horribly manipulative, or are even downright homicidal–the celluloid mothers we love to hate.
10. Mom: Deirdre Burroughs
Running with Scissors (Annette Bening)
Her deal: Deirdre is an unpublished–not to mention unstable—confessional poet who fancies herself hugely famous. Therefore, she has no time for playing suburban mom to her son, Augusten. When her marriage crumbles, Deirdre signs up for therapy with the highly unconventional and eccentric Dr. Finch, who encourages her to find herself. She eventually pawns Augusten off to live with the Finches–a kind of Brady-Bunch-gone-bad world where for some dog kibble is a snack, sedatives are consumed like candy and grand prophecies emerge from the bathroom.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Deirdre’s quest to become the next great American author means she keeps her young son home from school so he can listen and applaud her for all her off-the-wall scribbling. But then ships him off the minute his needs eclipse her creativity and become too much of a burden.
Her motherly moment: Taking her teenage son to her psychiatrist’s home one day and making him sign papers so said psychiatrist can “adopt” him, thus forcing him to live permanently with the dysfunctional family. Thanks, Mom, appreciate it![PAGEBREAK]
9. Mom: Lilly Dillon
The Grifters (Anjelica Huston)
Her deal: She’s a tough one, this Lilly. She learned to fend for herself on the cold, mean streets as a grifter, eventually landing a gig as a racetrack numbers runner for a particularly nasty mob boss. She had a son, Roy, at a very young age, and he used to be an integral part of her con schemes. Long estranged from Roy, who is still on the grift himself, Lilly tries to reconnect. It doesn’t quite work out the way she’d hoped.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): The fact she used to call Roy her “brother” and probably forced him to do more than a few nefarious things certainly doesn’t earn her the “Mother of the Year” award. She does try to make amends, but it’s far too late for that.
Her motherly moment: Shoving a glass into Roy’s face and cutting his jugular when he won’t give her his stash of money so she can make a clean break. That’s one way to sever all ties, so to speak.[PAGEBREAK]
8. Mom: Viola Field
Monster-in-Law (Jane Fonda)
Her deal: A recently fired news anchor who is afraid she will lose her son the way she has just lost her career, the conniving and vain Viola Fields is determined to scare off her son’s new fiancé, Charlie, by becoming the world’s worst mother-in-law. While Viola’s long-time assistant Ruby does her best to help Viola execute her crazy schemes, Charlie decides to fight back and win her man.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Can we say needy? Of course Viola is going to have a tough time accepting the fact her son has found another woman, but her desperate desire to cling to her only child just isn’t very healthy–for anyone. Cut the umbilical chord, woman!
Her motherly moment: Pretending to have a heart attack, moving into her son’s house, forcing her wannabe daughter-in-law to take care of her, and THEN turning into the worst patient ever.[PAGEBREAK]
7. Mom: Joan Crawford
Mommie Dearest (Faye Dunaway)
Her deal: We all know by now the story of screen legend Joan Crawford: how she started her career as a silent screen star, then became box office poison but eventually made a huge comeback and won an Oscar for her self-serving performance in Mildred Pierce. Yet it wasn’t until her fair-haired adoptive daughter Christina wrote a book about her very mean mommie that we discovered just how screwed up Joan really was. Dunaway’s performance as the grand dame is incomparable.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Demanding, unrelenting, jealous, vain, insecure, abusive, smothering–and these are just some of Joan’s good traits as a mother.
Her motherly moment: With her face contorted in rage, looking into her daughter’s closet, Joan screams at Christina, “No. Wire. HANGARS!!” And then beats her with them. Classic.[PAGEBREAK]
6. Mom: Deborah Clasky
Spanglish (Tea Leoni)
Her deal: Deborah once held a high-powered executive job but left it to be a stay-at-home mom. Now she transfers that hectic pace to her Brentwood, Calif., home life, never letting up for a moment. She runs every morning, shops furiously, carries on an affair in the afternoons–and hires a beautiful Spanish housekeeper to take care of everything else. If Deborah ever did stop, she might realize what a mess she’s made of her life.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Her total and complete self-absorption and insecurities leave little room for any real caring feelings for her children, teenager Bernice and grade schooler Georgie. Good thing the kids have a super dad like John, a kindly chef who knows just how to comfort them when their mother goes on a tear.
Her motherly moment: Buying a whole new wardrobe a size too small for her slightly chubby daughter so Bernice will be inspired to lose weight.[PAGEBREAK]
5. Mom: Mrs. Robinson
The Graduate (Anne Bancroft)
Her deal: She’s rich. She’s attractive. And she’s bored out of her mind. So, instead of maybe taking up tennis or golf lessons, Mrs. Robinson sets her sights on Benjamin Braddock, the son of her very best friend, and seduces him. Why? Because she can.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Not only does Mrs. Robinson nearly ruin Ben’s psyche with their philandering, but the woman almost ruins any chance of happiness that her daughter, Elaine, may have with Ben after they fall in love. Jealous much?
Her motherly moment: When she tells Elaine all about the affair with Ben. A good mother would never do that.[PAGEBREAK]
4. Mom: Senator Eleanor Shaw
The Manchurian Candidate (Meryl Streep)
Her deal: After the Gulf War, Eleanor’s son, Raymond Shaw, comes back a war hero. He’s primed to take the national stage as a surefire candidate for vice president–under his mother’s controversial thumb, of course. But is it possible that Shaw isn’t really a war hero but simply a pawn in a plot, orchestrated by Eleanor and her cronies, to seize the White House? Crazier things have happened.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Eleanor could say she’s doing all these horrible things so that her son can better himself, but that just isn’t the truth at all, is it? She wants power, and lots of it. On top of that, she and Raymond take the whole Oedipal thing to a new level. Warms your heart.
Her motherly moment: How about brainwashing her own son into becoming a highly skilled assassin?[PAGEBREAK]
3. Mom: Margaret White
Carrie (Piper Laurie)
Her deal: Oh my goodness, what a seriously disturbed woman Margaret is. Psychotically religious, she has raised her daughter, Carrie, in near isolation. And since Carrie doesn’t know a whole lot about the world, it causes her all kinds of grief at school. But what Margaret and the rest don’t know is that Carrie has telekinetic powers–and you really don’t want to get her angry.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof):. Besides the fact she’s a total lunatic, Margaret won’t tell Carrie anything about her impending womanhood and when pressed, locks Carrie in a small, scary closet so she can “repent.” That’s helpful.
Her motherly moment: Hmmm, let’s see…trying to give her daughter back to God by stabbing her several times? Yeah, that can’t be good.[PAGEBREAK]
2. Mom: Ingrid Magnussen
White Oleander (Michelle Pfeiffer)
Her deal: As an exceptionally brilliant poet and painter, Ingrid also has a penchant for picking the wrong guys. And when one of them burns her badly, she decides to take matters into her own hands by poisoning him using the elixir of her favorite flower, the white oleander. Not the best idea. Now sentenced to life in prison, she leaves her impressionable teenager daughter, Astrid, in the hands of the foster care program.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Ingrid thinks she’s raising an independent, strong-willed daughter who will know how to survive, but Ingrid proves only to be a detriment as Astrid tries to find her own way in the world without her controlling mother.
Her motherly moment: Persuading one of Astrid’s foster mothers to kill herself after finding out that she’s the only other woman, besides herself, that has meant anything to Astrid.[PAGEBREAK]
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1. Mom: Beth Jarrett
Ordinary People (Mary Tyler Moore)
Her deal: Beth believes she has the perfect life. A loving and successful husband, a beautiful home and two strapping sons, one of whom she is completely devoted to. But her world comes crashing down when that son, Bucky, drowns in a boating accident, while his younger brother, Conrad, survives. Now bitter and heartbroken, Beth is left with Conrad, who just wants a little compassion from his mom. He even tries to commit suicide as he is so guilt-ridden by his brother’s death. But he’s not going to get it from Beth. No sir, she has shut down emotionally. Possibly forever.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): Her total aversion to any physical contact with Conrad whatsoever doesn’t really make her a very loving mother. Besides, she won’t ever stop blaming him for getting blood all over her bathroom floor–or for surviving when Bucky didn’t.
Her motherly moment: After all the hurtful words, recriminations and ultimate resolutions, Conrad finally simply hugs his mother–and she won’t hug him back. So cold.
And an honorable mention…
Mom: Norman Bates’ Mother
Psycho (um, Anthony Perkins?)
Her deal: Well, there’s isn’t much to know about Norman’s mother except the fact she was clingy and demanding and kept her son very close to her after his father died. That is until she met another man and Norman snapped, thinking she “threw him over” for her new lover. Thus sealing her doom when Norman murders her and sticks her in the fruit cellar to rot.
Her parenting skills (or lack thereof): When Norman is “Mother,” we hear her belittling and humiliating Norman over and over again, telling him he could never have a girlfriend as pretty as Janet Leigh. So she might as well slash her open in the shower.
Her motherly moment: Her “reveal,” of course: a rotting corpse, in a chair, still wearing her housecoat. Good stuff.
