In honor of The Pink Panther, a remake that didn’t need to happen, I’ve decided to look at some upcoming casting choices that are more than a little questionable. Starting with, of course…
Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther
It really isn’t Steve Martin’s fault. I’m sure playing one of the more hilarious film icons of all time intrigued him, not to mention posed a challenge. But come on, the late Peter Sellers’ specter will forever haunt anyone trying to re-create the character. Sellers owned Clouseau. He came up with all of the French inspector’s eccentricities–the trench coat, the bumbling slapstick, the nearly undecipherable accent, the affinity for karate chops, and so forth–and infused the character so distinctly that anyone else doing Clouseau, even someone as talented as Steve Martin, couldn’t possibly hold up. I suppose the generations who don’t know Sellers and only remember The Pink Panther as a Saturday morning cartoon show will think Martin does a fine job. But those of us who do know, shudder a little. Martin deserves better than The Pink Panther. He should consider leaving the silly antics behind and stick with more grown up fare, such as last year’s Shopgirl.
Sean Penn as Willie Stark in All the King’s Men
Same sort of goes for Sean Penn in King’s Men, another remake that isn’t necessary. Now, I’m not saying the Oscar-winning actor’s actor isn’t fully capable of embodying a corrupt Southern politician and effectively show his rise and fall. It’s a gloriously juicy part that any actor would love to get their hands on–that is, if it hadn’t already been expertly carried out by the late Broderick Crawford, who won the Academy Award for the role in 1949. The original film, which also won Best Picture, is a venerable classic, and Crawford’s larger-than-life performance simply dominates the screen–and still resonates. Penn can get as beefed up and blustery as he wants as Willie Stark, but he, as well as the remake, is going to have work doubly hard to get the 1949 flick out of our heads. I just think there should be a rule that if a film wins the Oscar for Best Picture, it shouldn’t be remade. Ever.
Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane in Superman Returns
When they announced petite, fair-haired Kate Bosworth was going to play Lois Lane in the new Superman movie, my first reaction was, “No way. Never going to work.” I mean, Lois Lane is tough; she’s a hard-hitting journalist, doesn’t take crap from anyone, and certainly isn’t easily swayed by her heart. As annoying as she was in the movies, Margot Kidder was actually pretty perfect as the first cinematic Lois Lane. Even Teri Hatcher captured her spirit in the TV show. But Bosworth, with her blonde perkiness and girl-next-door persona, best known for winning a date with Tad Hamilton? It just does NOT fit. Of course, I’ve seen the Superman Returns trailer (which opens in June) since then and have seen how they’ve dyed her hair brown and made her look the part. But I’m still a little dubious.
Colin Farrell as Sonny Crockett in Miami Vice
Honestly, this casting choice kind of makes me chuckle. First of all, the original Sonny is just so, well, 1980–the pastel tees under a white jacket, the mirrored sunglasses, the slicked back hair. The gloriously over-the-top Don Johnson played him to a tee on the hit ‘80s TV show and totally convinced us he was a cool Vice cop working in Miami. So when Colin Farrell was tapped to play Crockett in Michael Mann’s film treatment to his TV show (coming to theaters in July), I took a moment to visualize how that indelible Sonny “look” would fit on the Irish bad boy. And, I admit, I started laughing. That’s not usually a good sign. I’m sure Farrell will handle the seriousness of the role quite well, whether he wears pastels or not, but I don’t think he’ll completely capture that Sonny essence like Johnson did. Too bad Johnson’s too old to play him.
Marilyn Manson as Lewis Carroll
This just seems wrong on some many levels–or does it? In recent casting news, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson is playing Alice in Wonderland author Lewis Carroll in a movie that also marks his writing and directing debut. Manson, whose real name is Brian Warner, is heading to the upcoming Berlin Film Festival’s European Film Market to drum up financial support for Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll, an art house horror flick. If the real Alice ever woke up to see Marilyn Manson standing over her, she would indeed scream in terror.
Daniel Craig as James Bond in Casino Royale
Are fans ready for another Bond? I’m sort of on the fence. On the one hand, I believe Daniel Craig has the acting chops to take Bond in a different direction. He proved he can be dashingly clever and alarmingly attractive in the British gangster indie flick Layer Cake, as well as brooding and introspective in the little seen Sylvia. But–and this is in no way disrespectful to Pierce Brosnan, who did a fine job as 007–they’ve gone with an “serious actor” before as Bond, and it didn’t work. Remember Timothy Dalton? Yeah, few of us do. Also, Craig is blonde and fair–not exactly the image that comes to mind when thinking about the world’s most famous secret agent. Of all the other actors that were mentioned for the role, only Clive Owen seemed to be the best choice to me–in looks and acting skills. But the actor is far too established in his own career to take on a franchise of this magnitude. You really do need someone whose career is just starting to take off. At least Craig’s got a sense of humor about it all. When asked by Reuters what he did the minute he found out he was the new Bond, he admitted he ran to the liquor store and bought vodka and vermouth, to make a martini…or two. So, for that, I’ll give Craig the benefit of the doubt.
But Here’s One That’s Spot-On:
Principal photography has started on the next Harry Potter adventure Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth film adaptation of J.K. Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter novel series. Directed by David Yates (HBO’s The Girl in the Café), Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson are all back to playing the close-knit teen wizards Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. But here’s the real find, at least to us who know the books like the back of our hands: Oscar nominee Imelda Staunton (Vera Drake) as Dolores Umbridge, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. With her irritating, nasally “Ehm-ehm” interruptions and browbeating of poor Harry, she’ll be perfectly awful as Umbridge. As well, they’ve cast 14 year-old newcomer Evanna Lynch, as Luna Lovegood, a Ravenclaw student who becomes an important ally of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s. She beat over 15,000 hopefuls at an open casting call to win the role. Good show!
