1. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, for liquoring up the paparazzi camped outside the actress’ Sydney, Australia, home—just days ahead of their impending nuptials. In a bid to appease the photogs, Kidman and Urban sent out two assistants with a 24-pack of Aussie beer Victoria Bitter with a note attached to the case that read, “Enjoy! Nicole and Keith.” Aw, now that’s just cool.
2. David Hasselhoff, for having something to be proud of that isn’t Baywatch related. Hasselhoff, who was caught on camera crying during the final episode of American Idol, said he is not embarrassed by the sentimental display and asks, “Is it wrong for a grown man to cry?” To cry, no. To cry over AI? Definitely.
3. The Coreys—that’s Feldman and Haim, for fueling the most ludicrous reunion of all time: The Coreys. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, who co-starred in Lost Boys, License to Drive and Dream a Little Dream, are pairing up again for a TV comedy called The Coreys. The project will feature the former child stars as fictional versions of themselves, because if it were real, it would be a dramedy.
4. Beyonce Knowles and her entourage, for handling a recent PETA ambush at Nobu in NYC with style. The singer, her mom Tina, and sister Solange thought they were sitting down with winners of an eBay auction for VH1’s Save the Music Foundation. Turns out the guests were wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing (fake, fur sure): PETA crusaders! The two hidden-camera-carrying women badgered Beyoncé about the use of fur in her clothing line, The House of Dereon, before being escorted out of the restaurant by security. Apparently, PETA is annoyed because Beyoncé never responds to their faxes, letters and rallies outside her concerts. Guess what PETA? She doesn’t have to. And shame on PETA for using a charitable organization to get a point across.
5. National Enquirer editor David Perel, for telling it like it is. Former Green Beret John Paulus, who boasted an alleged one-night stand with American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken, claims on a Web blog he is so sorry for the scandal his story caused Aiken and insists he took legal steps in a bid to stop it from being published. But sometimes it’s just not better late than never. The NE, meanwhile, denies receiving a cease-and-desist letter. “It’s not a situation where he told the story one time,” Perel explains. “He engaged in multiple conversations with our reporter. He couldn’t stop talking.”
6. Horror director Uwe Boll, for being a spoilsport. Boll, who has directed the really bad movies BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead, is so fed up with bad reviews he has challenged his critics to a brawl, which he then plans to air on the Internet. “If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it,” the German shlockmeister said in a statement. Boll, however, is apparently not incensed by the 13,327 people who have signed an online petition asking him to stop making movies.
7. Maddox Jolie-Pitt, for already having paparazzi issues—and he’s just 4. Photog Clint Brewer reportedly jumped the fence at Maddox’s Malibu daycare center this week to get a pic of the tyke, but the staff responded by making a citizen’s arrest for trespassing. Forget Namibia–Brad and Angie need to get all colonial overlordy in the ‘Bu.
8. Anne Hathaway, for outing her The Devil Wears Prada co-star Stanley Tucci as a perv. Hathaway said she had to scold Tucci for repeatedly elbowing her in the chest on the set. “He wasn’t doing it to be like a dirty old man, but if we were doing a scene or I was just crossing to get to my mark he would just smack me in my boob and elbow me. So, after about the fourth time, I finally turned to him and said, ‘Stanley can you please stay away from my t**s?,’” she explains. “Stanley got really flustered and he said, ‘What do you expect, you’re flinging those melons around like it’s harvest season!’”
9. X-Men: The Last Stand director Brett Ratner, for leveraging the power of the blog. Ratner called the posh Hotel du Cap in Cannes “Hotel du Crap” in a scathing Internet blog after he tipped a hotel staff 500 Euros to secure a waterfront villa–and ended up in a tiny room with no view. When Ratner visited the Cannes Film Festival for the second time this year, the hotel’s management put him up in their five-bedroom villa complete with a 24-hour butler.
10. David Hans Schmidt (aka Paris Hilton’s locker broker), for best comeback. Schmidt stood in line for an autographed photo of Hilton, who was at Macy’s for the launch her new perfume, Just Me, and asked the socialite to “make it out to ‘The Guy Who Has My Storage Locker Stuff.’” When Hilton shot back the stuff could not be published, Schmidt retorted with, “Like your sex video?” Schmidt 1 Paris 0. The moral of this story? Pay your storage bill.
