1. Firecrotch and firearms… Lindsay Lohan is taking gun-handling lessons for her upcoming visit with U.S. troops in Iraq . “My security guard is going to take me to a gun range… and I’m going to start taking shooting lessons,” Lindsay said. “He says if I’m going to go there (Iraq) I should really know how to shoot.” Because poppin’ a cap in an Iraqi civilian’s ass is exactly what Lindsay needs to improve her image right now.
2. Rock the vote, screw the vote… Porn star Mary Carey announced she will run in November’s California governor election.The Boobsville Sorority Girls star, who lost out to Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 2003 election, has already gathered 40 of the 164,000 signatures required to register as an independent candidate and has altered her image be taken more seriously. “As you can see I’m dressed more seriously,” she explained. “I’ve got brown in my hair because brunettes are taken more seriously.” Oh, lighten up! Plus, we like her slogan, “Finally, a politician you want to be screwed by.” (Photos: Marey Carey Enters the California Governor Election)
3. Freddie got fingered… British royal Lord Freddie Windsor has slammed Mischa Barton for bringing along her hairdresser as a chaperone and constantly using her Blackberry at a dinner party at London’s Kensington Palace. Mischa, meanwhile, wants to know who the hell Lord Freddie is.
4. Huvane in vain… Us Weekly editor Janice Min claims Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston have been engaged for two months. That’s rubbish–at least according to Jennifer’s spokesman Stephen Huvane. But who should we believe? Let’s see… In July 2000, the same month Jen and Brad got hitched, Huvane told Hollywood.com the twosome was NOT planning a wedding (really). And about a month before Jen and Brad broke up, Huvane denied the then couple’s marriage was on the rocks, saying, “Everything is fine with Jennifer and Brad. They are together now and will be enjoying the holidays together.” Oh, and here’s Huvane insisting Vince and Jen are not an item (read story). And there’s… you get the gist.
5. That’s rubbish, too… “That’s completely untrue.” That’s Hugh Hefner’s spokesman Rob Hilburger, denying reports the 80-year-old Playboy mogul suffered a mini-stroke last weekend. Say, why not watch our red carpet interview with Hef and determine his sharpness for yourself (watch video).
6. Mewtwo strikes back… Paris Hilton was taken to the hospital this week after her pet kinkajou bit her on the arm. The wound, however, turned out to be superficial, so Paris got a tetanus shot and was released. Where’s Pikachu when you need him?
7. I know you are but what am I… Elle Macpherson is fuming over a new Victoria’s Secret TV commercial in which fellow supermodel Heidi Klum declares: “They call me The Body–and now I have a bra named after me.” Macpherson, who has been using the nickname since Time magazine used it to describe her in 1986 cover story, is more than pissed. “We saw that and were like, ‘Oh my god!’ We were initially flabbergasted,” a spokesperson for Macpherson told the New York Daily News.
8. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee… The two blondes who were drinking with Mel Gibson at the Moonshadows bar in Malibu the night of his arrest explain his transformation as Jekyll and Hyde-ian. “He wasn’t an angry drunk saying anti-Jewish things when we saw him,” Blonde No. 1 said of Mel the night he drove drunk and said anti-Semitic things. Added Blonde No. 2: “He was being very friendly and you just kind of forgot he’s this mega superstar. He floated around talking to everyone.” Bipolar behavior, bigotry, same difference.
9. But we like Mickey… Woody Allen‘s former au pair Angelique Jerome claims she hooked up with Colin Farrell right before the London premiere of Miami Vice–and insists he sucks in the sack. “He kept telling me how beautiful I was and I thought, ‘just shut up,’” she said. “He comes across as a tiger on screen, but behind closed doors he’s as wild as Mickey Mouse.” We wonder if that’s why Colin doesn’t want his ex Nicole Narain to release that sex tape?
10. What happens in Vegas gets airplay… Dustin Diamond, who played Screech in Saved by the Bell, claims a 28-year-old stripper woman “attacked” him in an Omaha, Nebraska, hotel room. Screech told a Florida radio station the woman broke into his room and stole some video games, but he held her against the door until the cops arrived. Interestingly enough, no charges were filed because the woman claims DD was the one who assaulted her.
