Is it us or is TV more interesting these days? With the abundance of choices, no longer are we stuck in the mire of canned sitcoms and windbag cop and medical dramas (although they still do exist). Television—and the characters they create–has gotten more ingenious, imaginative—and yes, decidedly more twisted. Here’s a look at our choices for the year’s most compelling characters.
Sayid (Naveen Andrews), ABC’s Lost
One Iraqi Who Rocks: Of course, it’s hard to pick out one castaway since they are all intriguing in their own ways. But there’s something so inherently cool about Sayid, the former soldier/torturer for the Iraqi Republican Guard. With his steely demeanor, wounded eyes, Sayid generally knows what he’s talking about, so whatever he tells you, believe him. The Others were probably too afraid to take him; he’d just mess them up.
Choice Words: “I don’t know what’s more disturbing—that the rest of the statue is not there or that the foot has only four toes.”
Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) and Drama (Kevin Dillon), HBO’s Entourage
The Best Odd Couple: Sure, Jeremy Piven’s uber-agent Ari Gold has been getting most of Entourage’s attention, but for our money, Turtle and Drama are emerging as the duo to keep your eyes on. Whether it’s Drama’s constant whining about never getting the jobs his baby brother, Vince, does or pothead Turtle’s laidback style which makes him the perfect manager to a rising rap star, this odd couple banters with the best of them.
Choice Words: Johnny Drama: “If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I’d take it in the ass for an Oscar.” Turtle: “You’d take it in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.”
Stewie (Seth MacFarlane), Fox’s The Family Guy
Love That Little Football Head: Ah, little baby Stewie. He certainly isn’t the cutesy Olsen twins on Full House. No, this one year old has an abnormally large brain which allows him to operate at near genius level and gives him a scholarly British accent. He hates his parents, especially his mother who trapped him in her “cursed ovarian Bastille” for nine months, and regularly plots her demise in order to achieve total world domination. Right after he gets his diaper changed, that is.
Choice Words: “Look, I really don’t want to go to hell, but I can’t stop my nature. I’m just a hateful person…Wait a minute! Of course! That’s it! If I’m drunk I’ll be calm and if I’m calm I’ll be nice, and if I’m nice then I won’t go to hell. Fix me a highball I’m going to get good and tight!”
Joy (Jaime Pressly), NBC’s My Name Is Earl
The Best Snark in Town: Joy is truly something else. She puts the trash—trash talk, that is—in “white trash.” There ain’t nothin’ getting by this street-smart gal, especially from her ex-husband Earl, who wins the lottery after she divorces the good-for-nothing. OK, so that might be some dumb luck for Earl, who sets out to correct all his past wrongs. But by god, Joy is going to GET HER DUE, one way or another–and we love watching her do it week after week.
Choice Words: “Is his sister getting married? Is she? Cause if she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid I swear to God, I will march down to that club chubby and wrap her neck around that pole!”
Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary), F/X’s Rescue Me
He Gets Us Fired Up: Only someone with balls the size of watermelons can get away with half the stuff Tommy does, but that’s what makes him one of the most compelling—and dangerous—characters on TV. Sure, he’s dedicated to his job as a kick-ass firefighter, but his personal life is a complete mess, and he doesn’t hide his feelings, well, at all. In fact, only the slightest provocation can trigger his outrageous temper, sending him into a fury you only write about.
Choice Words: “My cousin, the priest, said it’s all apart of God’s plan, like God’s got a plan. You know what, if there is a God, then he’s got a sh*t load of explaining to do.”
Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), NBC’s The Office
Office Narc with the Most-est: We’ve all worked with one: The office guy/gal who places his lips securely against his boss’ buttocks and smooches. But Dwight, oh tightly wound Dwight, who has a written procedure for just about everything he does in a day, has taken ass-kissing to a whole other level. For example, he’ll ignore a serious concussion, even throwing up all over his car, just so he can assist his boss Michael after he burned his foot on a George Forman grill. And somehow that makes Dwight even more endearing.
Choice Words: “I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?”
Margene Heffman (Ginnifer Goodwin), HBO’s Big Love
Why the Big Love: Barely in her 20s, Margene is Bill Henrickson’s third wife and definitely the most naïve about the ways of polygamy. She’s big-hearted, likes to have vociferous sex and will usually concede to her sister wives, especially second wife Nicolette. But don’t judge a book by its cover. When push comes to shove, Margene can be just as manipulative as the rest of them to get what she wants—although she does it in a sweet and unassuming way.
Choice Words: “When I married into this family, I guess I must’ve thought I was just marrying you. Now I realize I was marrying all of you. I was marrying sisters, my sisters, that was my choice, and I’d make that choice all over again.”
Celia Hodes (Elizabeth Perkins), Showtime’s Weeds
Darn Good Machiavellian Manipulator: Celia is imperious, calculating and superficial—the perfect candidate to be PTA president and acerbic friend to laidback Nancy. But watch out if you get on Celia’s sh*t list, a fact her philandering husband finds out the hard way when she shaves him bald in his sleep. Oh, and Celia is also a cancer survivor, which only manages to piss her off even more.
Choice Words: “When you stop being cute and funny and clean at home and start spending your afternoons with your head buried in the sn*tch of the tennis pro, yeah, you’re a piece of sh*t.”
