Not an easy task.
But our crack (or is that cracked?) staff came up with what we consider the top 10 most disgusting, yet somehow hilarious, moments in the movies. Take a moment and read through the list, and then vote for the one you think is the absolute grossest moment in cinema.
We’ll tally the votes and deliver the results on Monday. If you think we’ve forgotten the most stomach-turning moment ever, please let us know.
Blazing Saddles
Mel Brooks was gross-out before there was even a genre for it. In Blazing Saddles, you’ll find nine cowpokes sitting around a campfire, plates dripping with baked beans, harmonica music playing in the distance. Then–phhuuuttt!–an explosive new use for Dolby sound was born. Farting is a common bond for the common man, but this drawn-out scene was so outside the bounds of what was then acceptable that it was historic.
National Lampoon’s Animal House
Another classic clip that pushed the envelope of prevalent socially accepted mores. The biggest movie zit of all is the one John Belushi made 20 years ago in when he stuffed his mouth with cafeteria food, then popped his cheeks to spray his costars, in National Lampoon’s Animal House. Gross? Certainly. But also lovable. His smile lured us in, then BAM!, he spit up all over us.
Stand By Me
It’s the classic pie-eating contest, only Lard Ass ends up projectile vomiting blueberries everywhere. Throwing up has been a standard gross-out for moviemakers since before The Exorcist, but the blueberry pie barf-a-thon in this movie is the most memorable pure barf scene–except maybe the one in The Meaning of Life. Vomit also has a surprise factor, so even though chunks have flown in many, many movies, it still seems, er, fresh.
Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
Mr. Creosote enters a restaurant and immediately asks the maitre d’ for a bucket. The bucket is, of course, for Mr. Creosote’s vomit. Once the grossly obese gentleman throws up, he claps his hands to signal to the maitre d’ to replace the shiny silver bucket so that he can puke again and again and again. When Mr. Creosote somehow manages to stuff a proffered “weffer-thin” mint into his mouth after a 27-course meal, the maitre d’ takes a flying leap and cowers behind some potted plants while Mr. Creosote explodes, covering everyone in the restaurant with vomit.
Dumb & Dumber
Harry (Jeff Daniels) gets himself into a mess of trouble. Seems his best buddy, Lloyd (Jim Carrey), thinks Harry is trying to snake his girlfriend, Mary (Lauren Holly). To get back at him, Lloyd slips a little something extra–something a lot like Ex-Lax–in Harry’s drink. And it becomes a problem. Several long and agonizing minutes are spent watching Harry on the toilet, flushing out his system, so to speak. The capper? The toilet’s busted.
Trainspotting
Ewan McGregor, a drug addict of the highest order, is in a serious fix panic. He manages to score a suppository filled with heroin but in his haste to get it to its ultimate destination, he accidentally drops it into perhaps the filthiest and most disgusting toilet ever seen. Yet, that’s not stopping him. He dives headfirst into the mess to try and retrieve the drugs. Now that’s dedication.
Road Trip
At a diner, the film’s lovable geek, played by D.J. Qualls, sends back his French toast because it was sprinkled with too much powdered sugar. The 300-pound line cook takes offense at the request, and removes the powdered sugar by wiping the toast off in the crack of his sweaty bum for a few minutes. The cook the re-serves the toast, which Qualls eats, professing that “It’s good.”
American Pie
When a cute couple (Thomas Ian Nicholas and Tara Reid) find a moment alone together at a high school party and engage in, well, an exchange of bodily fluid–they get interrupted. So, he relieves himself in a nearby cup of beer, which he puts back on the bedside table. Enter Steve (Seann William Scott), who’s looking for a little action himself with his girl of the moment. But as they sit talking on the bed, Steve gets a little thirsty and grabs the cup of beer…well, you can see where this is going.
There’s Something About Mary
The Farrelly brothers are tops in the slime pantheon, with one of the raunchiest (and funniest) uses of a polymer and K-Y jelly in movie history. In a scene that’s given There’s Something About Mary legendary status, Ben Stiller gets a particularly personal gooey substance (and one not normally seen outside X-rated movies) stuck on his ear. Mistaking it for hair gel, Cameron Diaz uses some to give her bangs a lift.
Freddy Got Fingered
Who would’ve thought that a liquid as innocent, as wholesome, as milk could make our list? Yet as the credits roll at the end of Freddy Got Fingered, an outtake shows Tom Green getting his daily requirement of milk by crouching directly beneath a cow and sucking moo-juice directly from an udder, dripping milk all over his face.
