They say only about 10 percent of working actors become movie stars, and the studio execs coming up with the major movies roles don’t have a creative bone among them. When you combine these two facts, you get my weekly Role Call. Here’s the skinny on who’s doing what–in all its good, bad and very ugly glory.
Jolie cries Wulf
Beowulf, that is. Angelina Jolie will star in an animated big-budget film based on the Old English poem about a Scandinavian hero who slays a beast, slated for a 2007 release. Robert Zemeckis will direct the film and like his The Polar Express, he’ll be using “performance-capture” technology, which transforms the actors into computer-animated versions of themselves. That’s cool. It’s the material that raises some issues. Sure, it’s a classic if you happen to be an English major. I was subjected to reading this dreadfully long poem in a college class once–in Old English, no less–and I certainly didn’t think at the time, “an epic animated blockbusting page turner if I ever read one!” The epic poem, which is thought to have been written in the eighth century, chronicles the exploits of Beowulf, who saves the Danes from Grendel, the monster. Ray Winstone (King Arthur) will play the title character and will be joined by Crispin Glover as Grendel. Jolie will play Grendel’s mother. I can see Glover as a monster, but Jolie as a monster’s mom? Hmmm. Rounding out the cast are Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright Penn, John Malkovich, Alison Lohman and Brendan Gleeson. I’m sure they can fashion some sort of cohesive script, but I am not going back to read the poem just to remember what happened.
Willis and Berry are Strangers
Bruce Willis will star opposite Halle Berry in the psychological thriller Perfect Stranger, directed by James Foley. Berry plays a woman who goes undercover to investigate a friend’s murder. Willis will play one of her chief suspects. And there you have it! Yet another movie that sounds just like about every third movie out there. “This is a movie about secrets, lies and Internet chatter where suspects and villains often change roles, and an actor of Bruce’s caliber will certainly add layers of complexity,” Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, head of Revolution Studios’ East Coast office, told the Hollywood Reporter in a statement. Well, of course he will. But all the rationalizations in the world won’t make up for a very stale premise.
Piven’s Smokin’!
Jeremy Piven–who is so excruciatingly funny on HBO’s Entourage as Ari, the deliciously acerbic but paranoid talent agent–is set to star as a card shark in Joe Carnahan’s poker dramedy Smokin’ Aces. “I play a magician, a sleight-of-hand specialist extraordinaire,” Piven told Entertainment Weekly. But don’t ask the actor to join a celebrity poker tournament: “I feel like I’ve worked too hard for my money to have Tobey Maguire take all of it away in one bad hand.” Also up Piven‘s sleeve is Lucky 13. No, it’s not another gambling movie–its a comedy about the competitive world of bar mitzvahs. Yes, apparently there is one. “Garry Marshall plays my father; Daryl Hannah is Garry’s kumbaya girlfriend and Doris Roberts is my mother…It’s kind of like My Big Fat Jew Bar Mitzvah!” Piven explained. Of course, I’m assuming this isn’t about Piven‘s own bar mitzvah, but perhaps his 13-year-old in the movie, which is kinda ironic since Entourage‘s Ari just gave his 13-year-old daughter a mitzvah shindig. Piven will be able to bring experience to the role.
Pacino gets small as Napoleon
Al Pacino is gearing up for another career defining role after signing to play Napoleon Bonaparte in a forthcoming biopic of the French emperor. That’s just perfect. Pacino, known to get a little overzealous on screen sometimes, can shout and stomp around for a reason now since Napoleon was known for his temper. The Oscar winner, 65, has apparently been waiting seven years to play the diminutive Frenchman and only agreed to step into the 19th century role when he found the right filmmakers. And so he is re-teaming with producer Barry Navidi and director Michael Radford, who made last year’s The Merchant of Venice, starring Pacino as Shylock. Producer Navidi enthused to World Entertainment News Network, “We’re going to concentrate on the last few years of Napoleon’s life in exile. We’ve based it on the diaries of British teenager Betsy Balcombe, who struck up a relationship with Napoleon when he was living on St. Helena, and with whom he subsequently became infatuated. We were overjoyed when Al finally signed this week–we start filming next summer and hope to take it to Cannes Film Festival in 2007.” Je ne peux pas attendre, which means “I can’t wait” in French–just getting into the spirit of the thing.
Thornton goes to the moon
Billy Bob Thornton is putting on his spacesuit to star in The Astronaut Farmer, a drama about an eccentric farmer who builds a rocket inside his barn, to the chagrin of his neighbors and the government. Does he actually get the rocket to work? Sounds kind of fun. At least Thornton is finally moving away from movies in which he has to either berate children, play a coach or berate children as a coach.
Murphy is Norbit
Brian Robbins is in negotiations to direct Eddie Murphy in the comedy Norbit for DreamWorks. In the pic, Murphy stars as Norbit, a meek guy pressed into marrying a monstrous woman (also played by Murphy). When he subsequently meets the woman of his dreams, he has to figure out a way to be with her. Okaaaaaaaay. Sounds a bit like Murphy‘s character in Bowfinger mixed with a little Nutty Professor. That’s OK–it’s a formula that works for the man.
Train gets greenlight
German helmer Robert Schwentke, director of Disney’s upcoming Jodie Foster starrer Flightplan, has just inked a deal to direct Runaway Train for 20th Century Fox. The story follows a rail company’s frantic efforts to stop an unmanned, half-mile-long freight train carrying enough combustible liquids and poisonous gas to wipe out a nearby city. The movie is inspired by real-life events of a few years ago, when a runaway freight train carrying thousands of gallons of toxic acid hurtled along nearly 70 miles of track with no one aboard, threatening about 50,000 people. How does something like that happen I wonder? Guess I’ll find out. Of course, we mustn’t forget the other Runaway Train, the 1985 one starring Jon Voight and Eric Roberts as two convicts onboard a train that they, well, can’t stop. Popular theme.
Until next week…
