To be a lovable movie geek, you must meet certain criteria.
You have to be slightly goofy looking. You are almost certainly a virgin. And you never, ever get the girl you obsess over, but rather just stay her friend, waiting for the right girl to come along (as they usually do), when you will rise to the occasion and make your stand.
Mostly, though, you manage to steal our hearts because, darn it, we want you to succeed.
There’s a new lovable movie geek in town with The New Guy. Dizzy Harrison, played by DJ Qualls (the lovable geek in Road Trip), is branded uncool at his high school and gets himself expelled so he can go to another high school to become the “it” guy. Can he do it? We’re betting he can.
Qualls joins a rather esteemed list of sweet geeks we have come to love like only a movie audience can:
Ashton Kutcher & Seann William Scott
Sweet Geek Roles: Jesse Montgomery III (Kutcher) and Chester Greenburg (Scott), Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)
Dorky Attributes: Dumb as posts; potheads (hence the lack of intelligence); have the best night of their lives and can’t remember one iota of it in the morning.
Why We Love Them: They may not remember where they parked the car and mess up a lot with their girlfriends (Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff), but Jesse and Chester still have a lot of heart. They are just a little misguided, that’s all. Once they figure it all out, though, they are destined for great things. Like managing the local A&P.
Best Lines: Jesse: “Who’s ‘Joe Potsmoker?'” Chester: “Oh, that’s my alter-ego.” Jesse: “Wait, I thought that was MY alter-ego” Chester: “No, you’re ‘Smokey McPott.'”
Jason Biggs
Sweet Geek Role: Jim Levinstein, American Pie (1999), American Pie 2 (2001)
Dorky Attributes: Goofy face; dances like a deranged monkey; feels the need to have carnal knowledge with an apple pie.
Why We Love Him: You just want to give Jim a big hug. With his puppy dog eyes and kind heart, he isn’t really that big of a geek–just horny. He just needs someone to take his hand and guide him down the right path–like the sweet flute-playing band-girl Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), who is just a little bit of a nerd herself.
Best Line: “You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.”
Dustin Hoffman
Sweet Geek Role: Benjamin Braddock, The Graduate (1967)
Dorky Attributes: Loves his fish tank; likes to wear snorkel gear in the middle of a party; crashes weddings and screams the bride’s name over and over.
Why We Love Him: Ben is a classic, a true original geek. He stays in his room mostly–unless it’s to meet Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft) to have sex–has no real sense of direction–until he meets Elaine Robinson (Katharine Ross)–and is a little obsessive/compulsive–especially over Elaine. But Ben is also a borderline case because there are moments where he is actually kind of sexy–and he manages to snag the right girl. That rarely happens.
Best Line: “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me…aren’t you?”
American Pie 2: 2001 © Universal Pictures
Dude, Where’s My Car: 2000 © 20th Century Fox
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Anthony Michael Hall
Sweet Geek Role: Farmer Ted, aka The Geek, Sixteen Candles (1984)
Dorky Attributes: Skinny; braces; propensity for asking girls for their panties and then charging his geeky friends to see them.
Why We Love Him: It’s all about attitude with Farmer Ted. Doesn’t matter that he’s a freshman nerd who you’d want to scrape off your shoe–he’s in your face. He knows he’s never going to get a date with a pretty sophomore like Samantha (Molly Ringwald), but by God, he’ll help her get her dream date with the hunky Jake (Michael Schoeffling)–and spend the night with the drunk prom queen at the same time. Not bad.
Best Line: “Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some [girl] borrows my lunch money? Y’know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I’m too torqued up to say no.”
Jon Cryer
Sweet Geek Role: Duckie, Pretty in Pink (1986)
Dorky Attributes: Wears hair in a pompadour; doesn’t own a car; lip-syncs to old R&B songs full throttle.
Why We Love Him: Duckie is a girl’s best friend. He’s loyal, he’ll listen to your problems and he’ll hopelessly worship you for ever and ever. (Desperation isn’t the most attractive quality to a girl.) Still, Duckie manages to keep his unrequited love Andie (Molly Ringwald, again) as his dearest friend and helps her get the guy she really loves because he realizes their friendship means more to him then not having her at all. That’s very un-geek like.
Best Line: “May I admire you again today?”
Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards
Sweet Geek Roles: Lewis Skolnink (Carradine) and Gilbert Lowell (Edwards), Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
Dorky Attributes: Honestly, what isn’t dorky about them? That’s the whole point.
Why We Love Them: These guys get the big thumbs up because they fight back–and win big. They get their own fraternity, kick the other fraternities’ butts, win all the hot babes and make being a geek look almost cool. Let’s hear it for the nerds!
Best Line: Lewis: “Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.”
Sixteen Candles: 1984 © 20th Century Fox
Pretty in Pink: 1986 © Paramount Pictures
Revenge of the Nerds: 1984 © 20th Century Fox
