1. Val Kilmer
Anyone remember the last time Kilmer had a hit? He’s such a bad-luck charm that every film he now
makes is destined to bomb. He even endured the indignity of seeing the busted theatrical Blind Horizon debut on Showtime this month. Then there’s Mindhunters, once slated for an April 2003 release and now due in March 2005. Two years on the shelf–hardly a sign of confidence.
Alexander ($33.6 million)*
Perhaps more people would have flocked to see the pointless A Home at the End of the World
had Farrell‘s manhood not been snipped out of the film. Intermission was a terrific Pulp
Fiction clone, but few could get past its thick Irish accent. Alexander was a disaster waiting
to happen.
Heard, but not seen: that’s how audiences liked Jolie in 2004. And showing off plenty of flesh still
couldn’t turn Taking Lives into the next Seven. Partnering with Brad Pitt on Mr. and Mrs. Smith should–temporarily–reverse Jolie‘s declining fortunes.
- Advertisement -
Queen Latifah‘s a long way from Chicago now. She made a huge mistake taking the wheel of
Taxi after Ice Cube jumped out of the driver’s seat. The Cookout left everyone feeling sick to their stomach. Her appearance in Barbershop 2 was purely a promotional stunt for next
year’s Beauty Shop. If Beauty Shop flops, she will be in desperate need of a career makeover.
5. Ben Affleck
At least Affleck‘s beloved Boston Red Sox reversed the Curse of the Bambino to win the World Series
for the first time in 86 years. It might take Affleck that long to shake off the stench left by his ill-fated
romance with J.Lo, the yuletide turkey that was Surviving Christmas, and the direct-to-DVD
dud that was The Third Wheel.
Looks like the dumped 007 needs the James Bond franchise more than the franchise needs Brosnan.
No one bought Brosnan and Julianne Moore as the next Tracy-Hepburn in Laws of Attraction,
and After the Sunset was just a tired retread of The Thomas Crown Affair.
7. Ray Romano
Moviegoers clearly do not love Ray. He couldn’t escape his sitcom roots as a nobody running against
an ex-president in the race for mayor. Eulogy was DOA. Perhaps Romano could rethink
ending Everyone Loves Raymond at the end of the season.
million)
Kidman‘s post-Oscar choices leave little be desired. She couldn’t turn Dogville into an art
house destination and the summer disaster The Stepford Wives did more harm to women’s
causes than good. And does anyone believe Kidman deserves a Golden Globe nomination for the stillborn Birth?
9. Naomi Watts
The Ring gave Watts the liberty to pursue roles in films that clearly meant more than a paycheck. Good for her. Unfortunately, she’s squandered her time and energy on critical and commercial art house busts. Time to generate more goodwill with The Ring 2 and King Kong.
- Advertisement -
10. Jude Law
Another Friday, another new Jude Law film. At least that’s how it felt in the fall, when he had the
misfortune to have six new releases. It’s not even like we’re suffering from Jude fatigue. Sky
Captain never took off, revealing that Law can’t pilot a potential blockbuster to success.
Audiences couldn’t connect with I Heart Huckabees and hated the wimpy Alfie. Law’
makes fleeting appearances in Lemony Snicket and The Aviator, so he’s not directly
responsible for their success or failure. Closer, though, possesses the potential to be a sleeper
hit. But if 2004 was a test of Law’s box office appeal, he failed miserably.
* As of Dec. 19, 2004
- Advertisement -
