Today is “Megan Fox Blackout Day” on many man-centric Websites. This means that dude-type blogs usually rife with Megan coverage (like this one) will go Fox-less for 24 hours. We say tough. We’re boycotting the boycott and celebrating why Megan makes our hearts beat faster. Let us count the ways:
1. She’s badass.
Transformers, explosions, profuse swearing, motorcycles, leather jumpsuits, an affection for strip clubs and tattoos, admitted girl-on-girl action, unabashed sexpot and unashamed fart talker. She’d be amazing even if she didn’t look like …that.
2. She keeps it real.
By recently saying that making Transformers was “not a movie about acting,” Fox raised a few eyebrows with her truth bomb and pissed off Michael Bay. Whatever. Megan knows she’s not Meryl freakin’ Streep and seems to understand that her target audience errs more toward salivating dudes than the Academy. Transformers ain’t Shakespeare, but if there was an award for rockin’ a jean skirt like the fate world depended on it, Fox would have that s–t on her mantle. So don’t kill the messenger, Michael. Megan’s honesty is more entertaining than Armageddon.
3. She’s hot and she knows it.
While looking like a bronzed premonition of heaven on the red carpet at the 2009 Golden Globes, Fox told E! Online. “I am pretty sure I am a doppelganger for Alan Alda. I’m a tranny. I’m a man. I’m so painfully insecure.”
This is classic hot-girl neuroses. Megan understands her physical allure and knows that both denying and admitting her freak-of-nature-type beauty would make her sound like a daft a-hole. So she deals with it by awkwardly making fun of herself in front of thousands of people, which makes her even more attractive. Swoon.
4. She might actually be a geek.
Any hot chick can cover their perfect chest in a Star Wars T-shirt and claim that they’re “like, such a nerd,” but when Megan says things like, “I have no friends, and I never leave my house,” we’re inclined to believe her. Because she keeps it real (see #2).
5. It’s not her fault.
The same blogs making a stink about her overexposure are the same ones that post photos of her coming out of the drugstore, going through security at the airport and working the red carpet. It’s her job to be photographed. She’s really good at it. It’s not her problem that we clamor for her picture like Britney clamors for Frappucinos and menthols.
This boycott scheme screams classic unrequited high-school crush, a scenario in which the geeky band dudes (the boycotting bloggers) finally realize their popular object of affection (Fox) is never actually going dump her popular d-bag boyfriend (Brian Austin Green) and begin spending her Friday nights discussing the merits of Marvel over DC. Really, the boycott is an adult equivalent of the scorned bloggers retreating into their parents’ basements and listening to Slipknot albums for the duration of sophomore year while their formerly innocent hearts scab over.
Us? We’ll continue to feature her as prominently on Hollywood.com as we do in our mid-afternoon daydreams.
More:
Sexy-as-Hell Pictures of Megan Fox
An Ode to Lindsay Lohan | An Ode to The Hurt Locker
