The saying goes “you live, you learn.” But you don’t always have to do something to learn a lesson, because you can just look at what another person’s decision and vow not to follow their lead. And that’s why we’re particularly lucky we live in the era of Kim Kardashian — because she’s making our lives a lot easier by marrying Kris Humphries and then promptly filing for divorce 72 days later, which means she just delivered a whole bunch of life lessons to us in easily storable Tupperware containers. And it’s about time we sort through them.
1. The Bigger the Ring, The Less Sincere The Guy
One of the dumbest things about this engagement and subsequent marriage was the size of the ring Kris got for Kim. It was more than 20 carats, and probably weighed about as much as a Shetland pony wearing ski boots. In fact, it was so big that it almost gave the impression that Kris realized his shortcomings as a boyfriend and potential husband, and felt like he needed to buy something to apologize for not acting like he loved Kim. The diamond’s size also meant the gesture wasn’t a proclamation of love – instead, it was Kris’s way of showing could keep up with Kim’s famously extravagant lifestyle. Additionally, since the rock’s size made it pretty impersonal, it couldn’t represent Kris’s sincere desire to make Kim his wife (and that’s probably because it wasn’t there in the first place). In other words, Kris tried to make up for the fact that he didn’t love Kim by giving her a conversation-starter.
2. Live With Someone Before You Get Engaged To Them
It’s common for people to be bothered by their partners’ stupid little habits. But they try and cope with them. And even though the quirks remain completely frustrating and incomprehensible, the way it goes in a successful relationship is you accept the person you’re with for better or worse because you realize there are things you do that drive them nuts, too. In terms of Kim and Kris, the fact they didn’t live together before they got engaged meant they were introduced to each other’s unfavorable tendencies rather abruptly, which created tremendous tension. For instance, Kim hated the way Kris insisted on sleeping with his dogs in the bed with them and she hated the way he brushed his teeth so vigorously that the mirror above the sink was always covered in toothpaste spatter, and Kris hated the way Kim was so controlling and stubborn. If they lived together before Kris proposed, these issues wouldn’t be so severe and bothersome that they’d be used as proof their relationship wasn’t working. But since they didn’t cohabitate, the habits were interpreted as reasons to end the partnership.
3. Make Sure You’re On The Same Wavelength As Your Fiancé
The way it usually goes is while you’re dating someone, you find out about the life they plan to lead. You learn if they want kids, want dogs, want to live on a beach, hate to travel, don’t eat meat, are homophobic, or whatever. And based on that information, you slowly decide whether or not your views coincide with his or hers. Obviously if they do, you’ve got the green light to keep dating and obviously if they don’t, you’ve got the green light to end it and find someone else. From the way it sounds, Kim and Kris really wanted to live different lives: he wanted to move back to Minnesota to start a family and Kim wanted to stay in Los Angeles and focus on her career and her brand. And then there was the time Kris said that once they had a family, he wanted Kim to leave the celebrity lifestyle behind and stop working so she could be a full time mom (which, the way Kris said it, made him sound quite old fashioned – and not in the good way). Numerous reports indicate the main problem with their relationship was they couldn’t agree on where to live and decided to figure it out after they were married…which only reinforces the idea that before you marry someone, you better make sure the two of you want the same things.
4. If Your Family Has An Issue With Your Fiancé, Don’t Ignore It
When Kim introduced Kris to her family, it was surprising to see him interact with everyone in slightly antagonistic ways. It was also confusing, because usually when you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family, you go out of your way to make a good impression. But instead of showing respect for Kim’s family, Kris was verbally aggressive with everyone, particularly her sisters. Understandably, Kourtney and Khloe were concerned by his pugnacious behavior, and wondered why it didn’t seem in his nature to be nice or warm to anyone. And look now! Kim and Kris are getting divorced. And so when you’re thinking of tying the knot with someone who your relatives have issues with, don’t just dismiss them and assume they are trying to cause a problem to keep you to themselves. Instead, consider their concerns about your impending spouse, because they might be able to see something alarming that your love bifocals are hiding.
5. Don’t Get Married If You’re In Love With Someone Else
As more and more news about this impending divorce comes in, the more it sounds like Kim wasn’t in love with Kris and really only married him to further her career. Additionally, it was revealed that Kim didn’t love Kris because she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend, Reggie Bush. Now, it might seem straightforward that you shouldn’t marry someone you’re not in love with, but apparently it needs reminding. So here I am, taking time out of my day to remind you that it isn’t a good idea to marry someone you don’t love, or even like. There’s just no point because you could be using that time to find someone you actually DO want to marry — and so it’s pretty impractical to latch onto someone who drives you nuts, no matter the agreed price.
Sources: Perez Hilton, TV Replay, E! Online, Huffpo
