As I took my pre-marked spot on the red carpet at the 15th Annual Screen Actors Guild about an hour before the actual SAG Card-bearing guests arrived, I surveyed the scene, there’s one thing that simply can’t escape notice: the towering, giant-sized Actor (the coveted statuette the nominees were hoping to collect) looming over the arrivals line – and more specifically, the bare backside even more rock-hard than Brad Pitt’s that’s inexplicably aimed squarely at everyone strolling into the Shrine.
He’s the only one who isn’t asked “What are you wearing?” Aside from a hat and a couple of Comedy and Tragedy masks in his mitts, he’s pretty much sporting a wardrobe akin to Viggo Mortensen’s in Eastern Promises.
Well, screw him. For me, the day was all about the ladies. Equal time. Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Jon Hamm and the rest of you fellas – walk on by. Just today, let’s make it the Screen Actress Guild Awards.
While I waited for the stars to arrive, I chatted with one too-gorgeous gal who’s logged countless hours of tube time, my colleague Nancy O’Dell, the Access Hollywood hostess, who confessed she once almost followed the Actor’s fashion example on a red carpet. “I did have a strap pop one time and I had a breast exposed,” Nancy told me. “I pulled a Janet Jackson. I told the crew ‘You make sure you erase that and it doesn’t leave anyone’s hands and doesn’t circulate around the office before you erase it.’ I made the camera guy erase it as we were standing there.”
Fabric was kinder to Kate Winslet, who seems to get more stunning with each passing day and every new award, though her curves definitely tested the resolve of her curve-clinging Narciso Rodriguez gown. “I just thought that it was an amazing, extraordinary color and it’s comfortable and it’s a beautiful cut. I just really loved it,” she told me. And here’s where I think Kate caught me a little slack-jawed as I studied the, ahem, cut. “Do you want to know about the films?” she asked coyly, before letting me off the hook. “I’m joking.”
I tried to recover by asking if The Reader star, who was left at a loss for words a couple weeks back with a breathless double win at the Golden Globes, was better prepared for a victory speech tonight. “No,” she said flatly. “Under no circumstances. Turns out I’m really bad at giving speeches, which I didn’t know.”
Jenna Fischer ditched those drab sweater sets from the closet of the The Office’s Pam, also choosing to display a double-take inducing dose of décolletage in Pamella Roland. She told me she loves the dress-up side of the big awards days, as well as whirlwind pace. “I would sort of compare it to a woman’s wedding day – all the to-do, and you don’t really get to eat or go to the bathroom all night. You talk to everybody, and then it’s all over, and it feels like a dream.”
Getting glam comes with a price, Jenna admitted, just as another actress’ Jimmy Choos trod over the hem of her garment. “It always seems like a good idea to have a train because, they look so pretty, but then people step on them all night. They yank you back.”
Dexter’s TV bride Julie Benz sidestepped the stepped-on situation in a tea-length Romona Keveza dress that was short on fabric and long on style. “I can run around all night and I don’t have to worry about anyone stepping on my train, which is great,” she said. “It’s hard to be pleasant when people are stepping on your train. You eventually get to the point where you’re like, ‘Get off my train!’”
There was nothing funny about Tina Fey’s ensemble, 30 Rockin’ a teeny Brian Reyes ensemble that left her “hot nerd” image in the dust. But she was a bit concerned about her castmates winning a SAG ensemble award and landing on equal footing with trophy-heavy co-star Alec Baldwin and herself. “We usually just lord everything over them, so this is their chance to get us back,” she admitted
And then I chatted up Christina Applegate, who was all about the bling, with some dazzling oversized Lorraine Schwartz earrings dangling from her lobes like a planetary constellation. “They’re not bad, for being like a kajillion dollars,” she deadpanned. Christina confessed even she was starstruck at the SAG Awards, and was seeking out her acting idol. “I think that Kate Winslet is probably like the finest actress of our generation, for people of my age. I find her so remarkable. She never disappoints. I’d love to meet her.”
Cute as a Benjamin Button, Taraji P. Henson was wrapped elegantly in a white Herve LaRoux bandage gown and found her mind on a family matriarch, especially after being nominated for an Oscar as Best Supporting Actress a few days earlier: her grandmother.
“Not only do we now have an African American president which she thought she would never live to see, but one of her own is up for the gold,” Taraji told me. “She never thought she’d see that. She’s so proud. I called her before I came. She said, ‘Baby, it’s your year!’”
[PAGEBREAK]Another newly minted Oscar nominee, Viola Davis, was Doubting the reality of her surroundings as she strolled the red carpet. “It is surreal because there is nothing in your regular life that can prepare you for this,” she admitted. “This is not natural. This is something that you only imagine and you only dream and so when it really hits and it’s a reality you don’t even know how to embrace it. Although you know it’s something sweet and something wonderful. That’s where I am right now.” I wondered if her co-star Meryl Streep had offered any advice on whethering the through-the-looking-glass sensation of awards season – if anyone would, she’d know. “She’s not an advice woman. She really isn’t. She just watches you and she relies on the fact that you know better.”
It seems that the uglier Betty gets, the more enchanting America Ferrera becomes, wafting in wearing a winsome Vera Wang creation that’s desperately needed in her character’s closet. Wouldn’t America love to share her own style with little Miss Suarez, just once. “I think Betty’s got a long way to go,” she laughed.
I was Mad for January Jones, who walked like an Egyptian in an exotic design by Andrew Ng, and she dusted her eyes with enough gold to make any Pharoah envious. “I just thought that the dress was very kind of Egyptian and so I wanted to do a little Cleopatra feel,” said January, and she certainly knocked me on my asp.
I asked January’s co-star Christina Hendricks, who clothed her dangerous curves in crimson Carolina Herrera, whether there would be more drinking, smoking and snogging on the show or with what would happen tonight if her cast won the ensemble award? “Well, there’s a lot on the show, but the Mad Men cast likes to party, so we’ll see,” she purred. “We’re a very grateful group on Mad Men. We really know how lucky we are to be there. I think we’re all really fans of one another, so this will be really special for us.”
Saving Grace star Holly Hunter certainly didn’t LOOK like she was ready to pick up a spare in her princess-pink Rheem Acra gown, but she insisted that for people in her profession the SAG Awards are “our bowling league night, which just happens to be like this. This is what we do. I’m thrilled with these celebrations. They’re necessary for any group of professionals, and ours just happens to be very high-profile.”
Jennifer Morrison, who with her House docs was up for the best ensemble award, was also basking in the glow of actor-love. “We’re super excited to be nominated because I think that all actors are fairly insecure and you always wonder if you’re any good,” she explained. “When another actor is voting for you and saying that they like your work it means a lot.”
But it took Penelope Cruz to perfectly put the SAG evening into words, which sounded even more special in her alluring Spanish accent. “This is a very special ceremony to me,” Penelope told me. “I’m very, very grateful for this nomination because these are my fellow actors giving this to me. There is so much talent in that room. Just to be around them, I feel very privileged and very good to be in that company.”
And as I watched the sultry star waft away in her slinky, inky black Alaia gown, which glimmered as if sprinkled with as much stardust as was swirling around on us, I knew how she felt. And by then, not a single eye was on the giant naked man at the end of the red carpet.
MORE: Check out the SAG Red Carpet Photo Gallery
