2000 Democratic Welcome Party

HOLLYWOOD, Aug. 15, 2000 — It seems that while the big Hollywood donkeys got their rest after Day One of the Democratic National Convention, President Clinton had a little more partying to do. Especially since he was about to receive Tinseltown’s biggest honor.

Yep, that’s right — after he wistfully practiced an acceptance speech with Kevin Spacey’s Academy Award (and having Spacey take it away from him) during his famous “Clinton: The Final Days” video spoof, President Clinton finally received an “Oscar” for Best President at the Democratic Party’s Welcoming Party Monday night.

The trophy, in true Hollywood fashion, was presented by California Gov. Gray Davis at Paramount Studios. Clinton, accompanied by wife Hillary and daughter Chelsea, joked, “I had Kevin Spacey’s Oscar and he was ungracious enough to come and take it away from me just because he won it and I didn’t.

“So now that I have one of my very own, I’ll be able to lord it over him.”

But the real question of the evening was not whether Gov. Davis was hoarding one of the missing Oscar statuettes all this time, but where the “star-studded” part of the evening was to commence. After all, the biggest stars on the red carpet (lined with ‘Academy Award’ statues, of course) were Jim Carrey (well, actually a pretender, complete with Ace Ventura hair and talking out of his butt) and Marilyn Monroe (ditto, but no butt-talking).

Where were all those high-profile Gore supporters, like TV’s “West Wing” president, Martin Sheen, or Kevin Costner, or Dylan McDermott? Where was Enrique Iglesias?

By 9 p.m., much to the infuriation of all reporters, the biggest star on the scene was … Gary Busey. Nonetheless, Busey drew such a desperate press frenzy (likely the largest of his career) that one journalist was asking, “Who is that? Is that God?”

By 9:30 p.m., with press cages bare and reporters sipping Coronas, hope of finding any famous face among the thousands faded quickly.

“My friend thinks she saw Jeff Bridges pull up in a car,” one lady offers. We think we spot the skimpy-dressed Christina Aguilera — until she looks our way. (Turns out we were off by 30 years).

Other sightings included Tobey Maguire, Carmen Electra, Anjelica Huston, Victoria Rowell (“The Young and the Restless”), Johnny Rotten of The Sex Pistols and ’80s popster Tiffany.

Meanwhile, the available star power did their best. Actor Joe Pantoliano (“The Matrix”) and Kevin Pollak (“The Whole Nine Yards”) made the introductions, the latter bombing through a number of stand-up jokes (including impressions of Ross Perot and Gore’s running mate Joseph Lieberman). Celebrity Democracy Readings featured Frances Fisher, Noah Wyle, Laurence Fishburne and Alfre Woodard reciting famous orations by John F. Kennedy and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to name a few.

We’d like to think that Whoopi and Barbra didn’t pass the disorganized but ultra-tight security entrance, but we’re pretty sure they were hiding out in the V.I.P lounge instead, laughing as the masses sway to “Lean On Me,” meant to be a unifying Democratic anthem, led by Michael Bolton.

Yes, Michael Bolton. And no, Gary Busey did not join in.