This week’s releases:
House of Wax
Car troubles are never good, but when they strike in an abandoned town and you count Paris Hilton as one of your friends, you’re doomed. That’s just what a group of friends are when they get stuck in such a town and fall prey to one resident’s sinister plot.
Total box office: $32 million
Extras! The one extra to cause tepid interest on our part: the design of the set and its wax figures that lust after scantily clad actresses (who doesn’t?!) Something we usually fall for is a blooper reel, which is included here, but, well, Hilton’s scenes would’ve sufficed.
When it was relevant: Von Dutch-consuming, fake-tan-toting, cop-sunglasses-sporting trend followers apparently do leave the clubs—because somebody has to take the blame for the decent box-office earnings of Wax. And a surging market for teen fright fests didn’t hurt, either; everything else did. When “See Paris Die” is used as one of the film’s taglines, you know just how low the team behind Wax was willing to go for dough.
Worthy DVD purchase? No. Anything else is better for you than watching this film—including each of the seven deadly sins, several of which are committed upon watching Wax. And the remaining few are committed upon the purchase of it! Avoid it at all costs even there is none (after mail-in rebates and sale of soul).
All things considered: D-
Herbie: Fully Loaded
Maggie Peyton (Lindsay Lohan) receives a Volkswagen Beetle from her dad (Michael Keaton) as a college graduation gift. The Bug, a.k.a. Herbie, has a mind of its own—it talks to Maggie, consoles her and tries to steer her in the right direction. Literally.
Total box office: $66 million
Extras! Not as much as you might expect from a star vehicle but, as always, there is good and bad. While some of the content on Herbie, which includes a piece on bringing the VW to life and the all-important stunts from the film, is high-octane fun, the shameless promotional content on pop starlet Lohan—her music video for her song “First”—is what-ev-er.
When it was relevant:Herbie surprised pundits for its respectable take at the box office, and critics for its allegiance to the original 1963 comedy The Love Bug and its subsequent sequels. What wasn’t surprising was the crafty nuance and not-so-subtle formula it used in order to muster up box-office earnings.Lohan clearly has a stranglehold ‘tween viewers who have idolized her since her early Parent Trap.
Worthy DVD purchase? No, unless you’re a parent buying it for your kids for the Lohan factor. Although harmless and fun in parts, DVD buyers should just check out the original; nobody will get a reprieve for such a purchase.
All things considered: C
[PAGEBREAK]Bewitched
Out in California’s San Fernando Valley, a good-natured witch named Isabel (Nicole Kidman) tries to go straight and lead a normal life. Across town, actor Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell), who’s fallen from grace, tries to revitalize his career in a remake of the ‘60s sitcom Bewitched. Their paths cross and kitsch takes over.
Total box office: $62.3 million
Extras! Something has to patch up the hole the film dug; too bad the extras don’t do it. There is very little beyond the standard extras (deleted scenes, commentary and the like) and useless extra extras (trivia games). A making-of featurette doesn’t fly because the film’s two megastars probably have clauses preventing anything candid or unwatchable from being included. When it was relevant: Bewitched was a disappointment on so many levels. When we heard a remake of the classic show was in the works, we yawned. And when studio brass tried to sell their modern “twist” of the show instead of a true-blue remake, it didn’t help.Kidman is guardedly beautiful andFerrell funny here and there, but neither is ever anything more.
Worthy DVD purchase? No.Bewitched is another update that tarnished its original counterpart for the sake of a few million bucks’ profit (worldwide). For a better buy, check out one of Ferrell’s best-of DVDs from his SNL days. ‘Member that (funny) guy? He’s still around, only on the big screen in big budgets and letdowns.
All things considered: C-
Rize
The other side of Los Angeles—its mean side—is as often glamorized on film as friendly, butRize focuses on the city’s epileptic dance moves. Celeb magnet/photographer and overall media virtuosoDavid LaChapelle crafts an entire documentary devoted to Krumping, a major part of many everyday lives.
Total box office: $3.3 million
Extras! Rize doesn’t exactly overflow with extras, but every little bit helps us in our pursuit to get to know such interesting subjects. The highlights are interviews with the dancers featured in the film and a Q&A session with them andLaChapelle at the prestigious Tribeca Film Festival. When it was relevant: It is the documentary effect: The few who saw Rize in theaters swore by it, but, well, only a few saw it. It is hard not to be captivated by the inherent intensity of the dancers and the lifers from South Central and by the LaChapelle’s passion and bravery in bringing his labor of love to the screens—for a relative few to see.
Worthy DVD purchase? Yes. It’s not for everyone, and, frankly, it’s a little bizarre, but Rize is engrossing nonetheless. The director is the wide-eyed student and the dancers the unashamed teachers; we get schooled on the sheer vastness of this world. It’s educational in that sense—go for it!
All things considered: B+
*Releasing Oct. 25
