[IMG:L]Halloween isn’t only about candies and costumes–it’s also about what’s on television. The run up to each Hallow’s Eve is filled with specials of episodic and one-off TV shows, only to climax with the ultimate TV nightcap on October 31–or four nights later, if you’re The Simpsons. So sit back, relax and enjoy the shows from the comfort of your living room–in between doorbell rings.
Martha Stewart’s Halloween Special: Bad Things, Good Things (Oct. 27 at 2pm ET on Fine Living)
Or: Queen Domestic Does Halloween. Creative-ish parents, here’s your crash course on homemade Halloween costumes, design and treats. Because if you want your kids to think you’re actually less cool, make their costumes!
Goosebumps (Oct. 27-28 at 10pm ET on Cartoon Network)
Keep the kiddies occupied for almost 36 straight hours with one of their all-time pre-Potter faves, before sending them off a few nights later to collect your candy. (Bonus: TiVo too-late episodes for further viewing/silence.) Who says Cartoon Network doesn’t have your back, parents of America?
[IMG:R]Inside Haunted Halloween (Oct. 27/28/31 at 10pm ET on Fine Living)
True, Fine Living is a “Contact your local cable provider” channel, but this is a must-see for those who, well, have contacted their local cable provider and subscribed to the network. If so, you’ll go inside the houses used in horror classics like The Exorcist, Psycho and The Amityville Horror, as well as Dawn of the Dead’s Monroe Mall and The Shining’s hotel.
Secret Life of…Halloween (Oct. 28 at 4pm ET on Food Network)
If Halloween is truly a food (read: candy) holiday under the guise of an ancient Celtic tradition, then here’s its celebration. Secret Life’s host, er, chef Jim O’Connor gets to the bottom of concocting candy corn–the official sweet of Halloween. Not to mention your palate’s biggest friend and your teeth’s biggest foe.
What’s With That Really Haunted Halloween House? (Oct. 28 at 9pm ET on HGTV)
Some people get Christmas-crazy with their homes, and some get Halloween-crazy–the affluent people featured here probably do both. One such homeowner–apparently the lone entertainment-biz type included in this special–is a producer of The Simpsons who spends upwards of $6,000 annually to transform his Sherman Oaks, California, pad into a veritable amusement park. Oh, rich people.
[IMG:L]The Big Bang Theory (Oct. 29 at 8:30pm ET on CBS)
In this Halloween episode of CBS’ rookie hit-or-miss geeks-are-the-new-cool sitcom, science dudes Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons) head over to their hot neighbor Penny’s (Kaley Cuoco) Halloween party. Physics lingo and awkwardness probably ensue.
Bones (Oct. 30 at 8pm ET on FOX)
Gotta have a Halloween episode in a forensics series: The mummified remains of two teen girls are found at Halloween-themed amusements, and when a third girl goes missing, Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan (Emily Deschanel) fear that a serial killer may be at work.
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Oct. 30 at 8pm ET on ABC)
Same ol’ Peanuts story: Charlie and his cronies go trick-or-treating; Snoopy squares off against the Red Baron; and Linus patiently awaits the Great Pumpkin. It’s old-1966-old–it’s stodgily animated and God knows it’s stale, but it’s tradition. C’mon, ABC even gives you one night’s leeway so as not to interfere with your night-of plans. Reward them, won’t you?
20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders (Oct. 31 at 8pm ET on E!)
It’s Halloween, E!-style. Because Trick-or-Treaters: The E! True Hollywood Story just doesn’t get the job done, especially title-wise. Among the Hollywood homicides “examined”: Notorious B.I.G., Nicole Simpson and Sharon Tate. Where’s the Talk Soup Halloween special, E!?!
America’s Funniest Home Videos (Oct. 31 at 10pm ET on ABC Family)
No guarantees that you’ll snicker more than usual at this special, featuring vids of people being scared by others’ Halloween costumes, but your kids probably will. You, meanwhile, can always enjoy a mental game of America’s Funniest Home Videos Then (Bob Saget) vs. Now (Tom Bergeron).
[IMG:R]Biography: Linda Blair (Oct. 31 at 10pm ET on Biography Channel)
The former child devil gets the profile treatment, which centers on her iconic role in The Exorcist. This is about as scary as the Biography Channel can possibly get, so it’s worth checking out.
Ghost Hunters Live (Oct. 31 at 9pm ET on Sci-Fi)
How could the original paranormal reality (slight-oxymoron alert) show not bring out the big guns tonight? And that’s just what Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson–plumbers by day, TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) ghost hunters by night–do by pulling an all-nighter at the supposedly haunted Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky.
Halloween Unmasked (Oct. 31 at 7pm ET on the National Geographic Channel)
Turn to NGC pre-primetime for an objective remedy to the TV blitz set to begin at 8 p.m. Unamsked are Halloween’s history, myths and science. All very Wikipediable, sure, but worth a gander.
The Haunted History of Halloween (Oct. 31 at 12pm and 6pm ET on History Channel)
Not too different from National Geographic Channel’s unmasking of the ‘Ween above–but less frills, more history. It is, after all, the History Channel!
Pushing Daisies (Oct. 31 at 8pm ET on ABC)
Make this episode of ABC’s quirky new dramedy fit into your viewing schedule, because the show’s so good and the critical praise so high that it must be in desperate need of ratings. The orange-and-black tie-in involves Ned’s (Lee Pace) difficult Halloween memories, while he and the crew (Anna Friel, Chi McBride) also investigate mysterious jockey-trampling incidents.
World’s Creepiest Destinations (Oct. 31 at 9pm ET on Travel Channel)
What would Halloween be without one of the Travel Channel’s recycled World’s [insert any word with the suffix –est and follow it with almost any plural noun] shows? No different whatsoever, but special “theme” episodes like this, which can no doubt be viewed countless other nights throughout the year, are reliable fun–even if you already saw it five years ago.
[IMG:L]The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XVIII (Nov. 4 at 8pm ET on FOX)
Ah, the Halloween special you’ve been waiting for, only–d’oh–post-Halloween. Thanks, World Series! (FOX is contractually obligated… You know the deal by now.) But we can’t stay mad at an animated family. This year, The Simpsons’ 18th “Horror” episode, the fam gets its usual threefold storyline with parodies of E.T. (Bart and Lisa try to help Kodos return to his planet) and Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Homer and Marge as Mr. and Mrs.), while Flanders flips out on Bart and Lisa. Pretty much unfunny-proof.
