The pneumatic lips, the whiplash smile, the feline glare, those oh-so-dangerous curves. And she comes off just a little psycho.
Call us crazy, but we’ve got it bad for Angelina Jolie. And so do you, considering you picked her as Hollywood’s second sexiest female star in our poll, tying with pop princess Britney Spears.
How could you resist her? If you tried, we have a feeling she’d kick in the door and hold you down on the floor with her boot until you submitted. A breath of smoke-filled air alongside cinema’s more simpering so-called sex symbols (sorry, Gwyneth, Meg, etc.), Angie scores for her exotic genetic gifts (by way of papa Jon Voight, mama Marcheline Bertrand and maybe even something rubbed off from godmother Jacqueline Bisset) and for her, shall we say, unconventional side. She once aspired to be an undertaker, and painted her (now ex) husband’s name in her own blood on the T-shirt she wore to their wedding–the chick’s weird.
But not “delicate” weird. She’s “Don’t f*** with me” weird. Though vulnerable underneath, she’s not afraid to kick ass. Witness her turns in Gia or Girl, Interrupted. And if you weren’t hung up on Tomb Raider‘s video game vixen Lara Croft before, you certainly were after Jolie gave her life on the big screen. She effectively shushed any naysayers among the zillions of Croft fetishists who wondered if she’d measure up to the awesomely endowed icon: “I’ll make it real simple, I’m a 36C. In the game, she’s a double D. In the movie, she’s a D. We split the difference…she has smaller breasts, but she’s still Lara Croft, so there.” We’re sold.
But enough about her rack, let’s talk about her mantel. This is a woman with two Golden Globes. She also has two Screen Actors Guild trophies, a Golden Satellite, awards from ShoWest and the National Board of Review and, oh yeah, a little trinket called Oscar. And did we mention she was also appointed Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees after her visits to Sierra Leone, Tanzania and Pakistan?
Forget the slightly creepy close relationship she once displayed with her brother, James Haven–or don’t! Weird is hot!! Face it, how much sexier did she get when–faced with her choice of typical Hollywood himbos–she went and eloped in Las Vegas with (gasp!) Billy Bob Thornton, a man she calls “the sexiest [expletive deleted]…creature that ever lived.” She even wears a vial of his blood around her neck.
Weird? Yep. Cool? Absolutely. She’s definitely got our blood up.
How She Did in Our Poll Last Year:
Angie was edgy as ever, edging out Halle Berry to make the top five. But now, with Lara on her resume, she’s tied for number two with the pop culture cupcake of the moment, Britney. But in a real-life Smackdown, we know who we’d put our money on!
Sexiest Role:
We won’t admit to how many times we’ve watched Lara Croft run in DVD slo-mo or studied Gia’s artsy photo shoots, but we still have to give top props to Girl, Interrupted‘s Lisa, the feral, fearless mental patient whose psychotic, sexy hisses both scare and thrill us. And while Winona Ryder may have been caught stealing in real life, Jolie’s riveting presence swiped every second of celluloid from her klepto co-star. There’s something about her spot-on interpretation of crazy that drives us, well, mad.
Sexiest Scene:
There’s no shortage of steamy sequences in Angelina’s cinematic oeuvre, but we’ll point you straight to Gia, in which Angelina–playing the real-life omnisexual supermodel Gia Carangi–enjoys a scintillating Sapphic spin in the sheets with Elizabeth Mitchell after an erotically-charged photo shoot, then pleads for her to stick around in the film’s most literally and emotionally naked scene.
Best Quote:
“You’re young, you’re drunk, you’re in bed, you have knives; s**t happens.”
Okay, we don’t even know what that means, but we we’re willing to buy some gin and a Ginsu to find out.
Physical Feature We Love:
It’s a toss-up: In the gifted-by-nature department, its gotta be those sexy, sensuous, super-sized lips–or maybe her whole mouth, as it looks like it might be just as exciting to be bitten by Angelina as to be kissed by her.
In the gifted-by-permanent ink department, we’d adore a guided tour of each of her exotic tattoos, which include the Japanese sign for death, two pointy black American Indian symbols, a dragon, a large black cross, the letter “H” (for brother James Haven), the Tennesee Williams quote, “A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages,” the Latin phrase Quod me nutrit me destruit (“What nourishes me also destroys me”) and, of course, the name “Billy Bob.”
In Her Future:
Hot, talented and totally in her prime, Jolie has her pick of some of the choicest film rolls up for grabs, and she’s picked some diverse projects. First up is the romantic comedy Life or Something Like It with Edward Burns, in which she plays a reporter spooked into changing her life by the ominous prophecy of a homeless man. After that she stars in the epic wartime drama Beyond Borders opposite Clive Owen (Croupier) for director Martin Campbell (The Mask of Zorro). And then, most likely, she’ll bounce back into that oh-so-snug tee for a second runaround as Lara Croft.
