When Cinderella Man was released in the summer of 2005, it was well received and every sign pointed toward Oscar glory, including but not limited to its Academy-friendly cast and director. But when the curtains closed on Oscar night earlier this year, all the film had to show for itself was the annual Paul Giamatti snubbing. Coincidence…or illogical release date?! The general thinking is that movies released prior to the start of fall–a.k.a. the beginning of “Oscar season”–will be all but forgotten when Academy members pencil in their votes. Of course, this year will be no different, as come Feb. 25, 2007, there will be pre-September-release casualties. So almost exactly midway through the Oscar calendar year, we take a look at the year’s releases so far and ponder: What if the Oscars were handed out today?
BEST PICTURE
And the nominees should be: Half Nelson; Inside Man; Little Miss Sunshine; Thank You for Smoking; United 93
And the Oscar should go to: Little Miss Sunshine
Nice efforts from the other nominees, really, but let’s be honest: None of them shone like Sunshine. The perfect remedy for summer blockbusteritis, Sunshine was quaint but never artsy or pretentious, so even the most mainstream audiences weren’t left out in the, er, heat–which is unheard of with indies! Equally rare, the dramedy didn’t leave us apathetic for a moment’s time; be it repugnance, giddiness, melancholy or warmth, we always felt strongly towards someone or something. The acting, direction and script were all superb (more on those below), but a lot of movies pull off that trifecta while lacking a certain something; Sunshine, however, had all the intangibles working in its favor, and the result was sublime. And since the movie will be a Sideways-caliber snub come February, we proudly honor it now, with a pseudo-Oscar.
DIRECTING
And the nominees should be: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, Little Miss Sunshine; Paul Greengrass, United 93; Spike Lee, Inside Man; Bryan Singer, Superman Returns; Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
And the Oscar should go to: Paul Greengrass, United 93
Generations from now, Greengrass will likely be forgotten for 93, buried beneath the latest music-video wunderkinds to turn 9/11 into a stylized blockbuster–just one cynic’s gaze into the crystal ball. But for the foreseeable future he’ll be known for the first theatrical release of a 9/11 film. That 93 is at times unwatchable offers the most proof of Greengrass’ allegiance to the facts, some of which he reportedly confirmed by his own methods of research. Any manipulation on the director’s part in this particular film would’ve trivialized the whole thing, but 93 instead manages to feel less adulterated and more organic than most documentaries. For his painstaking attention to detail and integrity, Greengrass is even worthy of a real Oscar nod!
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
And the nominees should be: Nicolas Cage, World Trade Center; Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest; Matt Dillon, Factotum; Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson; Edward Norton, Down in the Valley
And the Oscar should go to: Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
It could be argued that Depp’s career, prior to becoming the biggest movie star in the world, has been one big Oscar snub. So what better time to honor him than now, following Pirates’ cool billion at the box office. (Yes, the numbers matter–we’re not talking about the Independent Spirit awards here.) Gosling also deserves consideration, but if Half Nelson is any indication, his time will come, and sooner rather than later. Depp, however, is long overdue, and his beloved Jack Sparrow has to be considered more abstract from his real-life self than any actor’s character in history–until Pirates 3–and isn’t that the ultimate “act”?
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
And the nominees should be: Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine; Gretchen Mol, The Notorious Bettie Page; Natalie Portman, V for Vendetta; Emily Rios, Quinceanera; Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
And the Oscar should go to: Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
(Note: Streep’s performance could also be considered a supporting role.) Of all the nominees in this entire list–not just this category–Streep is the most likely to earn a real Oscar nomination for her role as–well, The Devil. The movie’s unlikely ascent to blockbuster status doesn’t hurt Streep’s Oscar chances, but neither does her performance…or her 12 past nominations (and two wins). She took this against-type role and ran with it, having a devilishly good time while we all laughed, cowered and cringed–and coughed up the dough, apparently! Mol turned in a little-seen powerhouse performance in Bettie Page, but any actress going up against Streep should temper her award expectations accordingly.
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
And the nominees should be: Steve Carell, Little Miss Sunshine; Paul Giamatti, The Illusionist; William Hurt, The King; Michael Pena, World Trade Center; Hugo Weaving, V for Vendetta
And the Oscar should go to: Steve Carell, Little Miss Sunshine
There haven’t really been any true standout male supporting performances thus far, but Carell’s has been the strongest (while also being the subtlest). With Sunshine, filmed prior to his 40-Year-Old Virgin mega-stardom, Carell proved he could transcend his “lovable loser” tag, even though that ultimately describes his character here in a nutshell. But there are legitimate moments in Sunshine during which he reaches a deep sullenness that’s occasionally alluded to on The Office. And although he plays a gay, suicidal Proust scholar in the film, it’s not as colorful as it seems on paper–in fact it’s quite minimalist, a conspicuous departure for Carell.
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
And the nominees should be: Maria Bello, World Trade Center; Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine; Jodie Foster, Inside Man; Maggie Gyllenhaal, World Trade Center; Frances McDormand, Friends with Money
And the Oscar should go to: Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Sorry, WTC ladies, but you weren’t the only ones outdone by a pint-sized young actress: Li’l Miss Sunshine also rendered Napoleon Dynamite’s dance moves obsolete and not so “sweet” after her climactic boogie down. (And note to reigning ‘tween queen Ms. Fanning: Watch your back, Dak!) Breslin absolutely stole the show in the movie that stole the summer, and her performance–as a young girl desperate for a shot at a beauty pageant–was nothing short of amazing. For Breslin, who can’t see a PG-13 movie by herself until 2009, to comprehend such subtexts, undertones and F-bombs speaks highly of her intelligence. But no amount of sheer intelligence can replace acting intelligence, and Breslin appears to have the whole package.
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
And the nominees should be: Dave Chappelle’s Block Party; The Devil and Daniel Johnston; The Heart of the Game; An Inconvenient Truth; Wordplay
And the Oscar should go to: Dave Chappelle’s Block Party
So we have in our midst a Crash-like Oscar shocker: Block Party winning over sure thing An Inconvenient Truth. It’s a matter of opinion, of course, and Academy voters would probably love nothing more than to give Al Gore the podium for a special, extended-edition acceptance speech, but Block Party was just more enjoyable than the details of our relatively imminent doomsday. If the award was for more important, more educational or more topical doc, or the one that haunted our dreams more, we know what would’ve won. But Dave Chappelle’s reappearance from Africa after quitting his Comedy Central Show was a momentous occasion for his die-hard fans, and this writer is one such fan. But that doesn’t mean we endorse Hummers!
ANIMATED FEATURE
And the nominees should be: Cars; Monster House; Over the Hedge
And the Oscar should go to: Cars
Not really a fair race here. Pixar just sets the bar too high when it comes to animated movies. The visuals, action, and dialogue were once again miles ahead of the laggers, in this case a fun but forgettable Monster House from Sony and a star-studded but forgettable Over the Hedge from DreamWorks, which boasts the Shrek and Madagascar franchises but still crosses the finish line second behind Pixar. Cars, a massive box-office hit this summer, brought so much heart to a genre that was beginning to lack it, and its appeal reached much further than just the kiddies.
WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
And the nominees should be: Milo Addica and James Marsh, The King; Michael Arndt, Little Miss Sunshine; Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, Half Nelson; Russell Gewirtz, Inside Man; James Gunn, Slither
And the Oscar should go to: James Gunn, Slither
Yeah, that’s right–stickin’ to our Gunn! We loved Slither when it was released, we loved it when it was pulled from theaters what seemed like a week thereafter, and we love it now. Sure, earlier we said this is the Oscars, not the Independent Spirits, but the screenwriting Oscars tend to tend to the indies anyway. The reasoning is quite simple: It’s one of the most original stories in a long time (though the other nominees aren’t exactly stale tales). As funny as it was B-movie scary, the only explanation for Slither’s swift disappearance is that Gunn’s genius script (and direction) just took audiences aback. Do not allow that to happen to you when it’s released on DVD!
WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
And the nominees should be: Richard Linklater, A Scanner Darkly; Bent Hamer and Jim Stark, Factotum; Aline Brosh McKenna, The Devil Wears Prada; Jason Reitman, Thank You for Smoking; Andy & Larry Wachowski, V for Vendetta
And the Oscar should go to: Jason Reitman, Thank You for Smoking
Smoking just barely made the deadline, its official wide release coming just after the ’06 Oscars. Whew! Json Reitman (son of Ivan ‘Ghostbusters’ Reitman) had to get something for his sharp, biting satire–that is, besides festival buzz. Once the fervor over Tom Cruise’s rumored meddling with his then new girlfriend Katie Holmes’ Smoking sex scene died down, we were all able to see that this was actually a helluva movie. In fact, it was impossible to tell, and shocking to learn, that Smoking was Reitman’s feature-length directorial and writing debut. So, no, Jason–thank you for Smoking!
AND OTHER OSCAR ‘WINNERS’…
Foreign Language Film: L’ Enfant
Cinematography: Dion Beebe, Miami Vice
Costume Design: Penny Rose, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Set Design: Beth Rubino, World Trade Center
Music (Score): John Debney, Andre 3000 (a.k.a. Andre Benjamin) and Big Boi (a.k.a. Antwan Patton), Idlewild
Music (Song): “I Found a Reason” by Cat Power, V for Vendetta
Visual Effects: John Knoll and Ned Gorman, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Sound Editing: Christopher Boyes, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Sound Mixing: David Kelson, Poseidon
Makeup: Joel Harlow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
