In thinking of some of the classic, perhaps somewhat misguided, on-screen duos that have made an indelible impression on us, we are immediately reminded of: Batman and Robin, Wayne and Garth, Bill and Ted, and Turner and Hooch. Uh, scratch that last one.
Now come the latest improvident pair to grace the screen, Jay and Silent Bob in–what else?–Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
What really counts, of course, is that these guys are all about the spirit of true friendship, true camaraderie and proving that two heads are always better than one. (We think.)
In the case of Jay and Silent Bob, the cult favorites of such films as Clerks and Dogma, no one is quite sure how these two–Jay, the pot-smoking, foul-mouthed misogynist and Silent Bob, the wise and quiet comic book freak–got together, but they’ve turned into the most unlikely anti-heroes ever on screen.
Though much will be revealed in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, we’ve done some advance legwork (yes, we watched movies) and drawn some educated conclusions based upon Jay and Silent Bob’s past cinematic appearances.
Their excellent adventure
Movie: Clerks
Observed behavior: In Clerks, we are introduced to Jay and his friend Silent Bob outside the Kwik Stop next to the video store, where they hang out and sell drugs to casual passersby. Jay provides colorful commentary to anyone who cares to listen while Bob basically offers nothing verbal. When the two enter the video store, Jay manages to offend almost everyone, while Bob speaks, albeit briefly, and shows store clerk Dante the error of his ways in messing with two women at the same time.
Movie: Mallrats
Observed behavior: Jay and Silent Bob exhibit the same tendencies in Mallrats, except they now have decided to hang out at the mall–and this time they actually have friends. T.S. and Brodie, two guys who were just dumped by their respective girlfriends, elicit the help of the dynamic duo to wreak havoc at the mall. Silent Bob once again plays the hero, as he helps T.S. win back his true love. Brodie, meanwhile, realizes his breakup was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Movie: Chasing Amy
Observed behavior: The two are only spotted briefly in Chasing Amy. Comic book artists Holden McNeil and Banky Edwards use their friends Silent Bob and Jay as models for their popular comic book Bluntman and Chronic. Our subjects are seen having coffee with Holden and Banky, and Jay continues to spout complete nonsense about the world. Holden is having some troubles of his own as he falls in love with Alyssa the lesbian–surprise! another comic book artist–nearly ruining Holden’s partnership with Banky. Unfortunately, Silent Bob can’t save the day in this one.
Movie: Dogma
Observed behavior: Jay and Silent Bob have the biggest adventure of them all in Dogma.. When a long, lost descendent of Jesus Christ named Bethany Sloane is forced to step up to the plate to save the world from two archangels gone bad, Jay and Silent Bob are called upon as her protectors and prophets as Bethany journeys across the country to do her mission. Jay remains fairly useless throughout the trip, but Silent Bob takes his job seriously and actually saves Bethany’s life. One would think such an experience, meeting God, would enlighten the two. Fat chance.
Movie: Scream 3
Observed behavior: They pair make a brief appearance in Scream 3, but they don’t get killed. We’re not sure what to make of that, other than they must still be virgins.
Movie: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Observed behavior: Well, none yet, as the movie hasn’t been released. But we understand the imprudent pair decided they must sabotage the making of the film Bluntman and Chronic when it’s determined they will not be making any money off of it.
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Our completely conjectured conclusions
Basic Characteristics
Jay: A loud-mouthed incarnation of the id. Whatever he thinks, he says, with no filter whatsoever. Tall and skinny, he wears a skullcap and has long, greasy hair.
Silent Bob: More on the rotund side, he is the strong, silent type. He agrees with some of what Jay says but mostly responds by rolling his eyes; wears a baseball cap backwards and has a beard.
Occupations
Jay: Possible drug dealer; inspiration for comic book character Chronic in Bluntman and Chronic
Silent Bob: Hangs with Jay; inspiration for comic book character Bluntman in Bluntman and Chronic
Family History
Jay: Jay’s an only child; his father is a neurosurgeon and his mother a corporate image maker. While growing up, Jay’s parents often sat around reading Shakespeare. Jay dropped out of highly reputable prep school and has never looked back.
Silent Bob: Bob hails from a huge Italian family; his father is a restaurant owner and his mother is a homemaker. Bob has six brothers and two sisters. Bob quit talking at the age of nine when his pet gerbil died but has always idolized comic book heroes. Surprisingly, Bob is a high school graduate.
Favorite Things:
Jay: Pot; talking about doing and getting done by any number of women; mostly just using his mouth in endless chatter.
Silent Bob: comic books; baseball hats; cigarettes.
Both: Long overcoats.
Favorite Haunts:
Video stores; malls; comic book conventions; street corners; and occasionally churches, when the mood strikes them.
How the two met:
At the corner of a Kwik Stop, a stoned Jay asked Silent Bob directions to the local video store. Bob, raising his eyebrows slightly, simply pointed to the video store right next to the Kwik Stop. The rest, shall we say, is history.
Of course, we understand that many of our conclusions will be confirmed or denied with the release of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but now you can consider yourselves prepared. Or not.
