Russell Brand is just great. I would even go so far as to say I’d pay him to talk to me, because I love his accent so much. I even would’ve loved to hear him say this about his engagement to Katy Perry in person:
“It’s not as good, because you’re away from your actual girlfriend and you can’t have sex with all the people out there.”
Wait. Does he mean Katy Perry is different from who he calls his “actual girlfriend”? Oh, okay. So this is Russell expressing his dismay about living with Katy Perry, and being engaged to Katy Perry, because he doesn’t get to spend as much time with his actual girlfriend — who is not Katy Perry? Wow, I guess I missed that part and went straight to the “you can’t have sex with all the people out there” part. I was going to say “why would you want to have sex with all the people out there? Most people are diseased and have crusty fingernails! You don’t need to sleep with those people!” But now I’m stuck on figuring out if he’s pretending to cheat on Katy Perry is not is “actual girlfriend.”
This is surprisingly enigmatic. Ugh. This guy.
Source: E! Online
