If you can believe it, South Park began with Jesus Christ. University of Colorado film students Matt Stone and Trey Parker created a cartoon short about a murderous snowman who is eventually beheaded by Jesus. (He throws his halo at him.) When the American Fox Network took notice and commissioned another cartoon (again starring Jesus) to be used as a Christmas card for celebrities, it made its way to the Internet, where the Comedy Central channel took notice and asked for a show of their own.
Now entering its 12th season, South Park–a crass, TV-MA-rated sitcom about four little boys and their townsfolk–is still the one highest-rated original program in Comedy Central’s history.
It doesn’t make any great strides in animation, but its abundant use of excrement, pottymouthedness and sex acts involving Saddam Hussein have made it a bona fide hit (particularly among celebrities, who eagerly lend their voices to some episodes). Parker and Stone even brought a full-length adaptation to the screen in 1999, entitled South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, which surprisingly received an Oscar nomination for its original song “Blame Canada,” sung with bravado during the telecast by Robin Williams.
Before the 12th season kicks off October 19, here’s a little glossary to guide you through the ins and outs of South Park. (Jesus, by the way, does continue to make occasional appearances.)
ANISTON, JENNIFER: Friends star who provided the voice of Mrs. Stevens, who takes the children to the Costa Rican rainforest for the “Getting Gay with Kids” traveling kids choir.
BIG GAY AL: Lover of men and animals, owner of Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, which teaches the people of South Park how to accept and love their gay pets. Tries to be a Scoutmaster but is thrown out for being gay.
BIN LADEN, OSAMA: Terrorist whom the kids encounter when they’re accidentally shipped to Afghanistan. Bin Laden tries to hold them hostage, but Cartman finds a way out.
BUTTERS: The stutter object of derision by the four boys. Butters will have a bigger role in the upcoming sixth season.
CARTMAN, ERIC: Fat guy of the group with a red coat and blue hat, who’s constantly trying to track down his real father. Later he finds out his mother is his father.
CHEF: The UFO-loving cook of the school cafeteria, voiced by Isaac Hayes. Likes to sing songs about sex to teach the children. Manufactures something called Salty Chocolate Balls. Campaigns against the South Park flag, which he believes to be racist.
CHINPOKOMON: Japanese toy that brainwashes kids into bombing Pearl Harbor.
CLOONEY, GEORGE: Movie star who provided the voice of Sparky, Stan’s gay dog who flees to Big Gay Al’s Animal Sanctuary. He is eventually welcomed back home by Stan and wears a pink bandanna.
COLLINS, PHIL: Artist whose Best Original Song (Tarzan‘s “You’ll Be in My Heart”) victory over Stone and Parker’s “Blame Canada” at the Academy Awards caused the pair to leave the ceremony prematurely and get stone drunk–then ridicule him in two future episodes.
CRUZ, PENELOPE: Spanish actress who is lobbying for a guest spot on the show. “But they never called me back,” she told the New York Daily News. “I thought they would love having a voice with my accent on that show.”
ELEPHANT: An animal the South Park kids attempt to mate with Cartman’s pet pig, Fluffy. (See FLUFFY.) FARTING: Most common activity among all South Park denizens.
FLUFFY: Cartman’s pet pig that the boys attempt to mate with an elephant. (See ELEPHANT.)
IKE: Ike is Kyle’s (see KYLE) little brother who’s not only adopted but is also Canadian. Often says: “Don’t kick the baby!” [PAGEBREAK]
JESUS: Omnipotent deity who comes to rescue the boys and defeat evil in various episodes. Also stars in his own television series, “Jesus and Pals.”
KENNY: Last name McCormick. Wears a big orange coat with the hood covering half his face, making his voice muffled. Manages to die in a different manner at the end of every episode but miraculously returns the next week. However, the conclusion of season five implied that he was dead for good. Is he?
KYLE: Kyle Broflovski is the Jewish South Park member, wears an orange jacket and green hat. Known as the “smart” guy of the group, he owns an elephant (see ELEPHANT) and has an imaginary friend named Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo.
MAYOR: Two-faced politician (is that redundant?) who’s goal in life is more publicity. Rumored to be affiliated with the Japanese Mafia.
MR. GARRISON: The third-grade teacher who is rumored to be gay. Likes to use a puppet named Mr. Hat and pretend he’s a Vietnam veteran. (See MR. HAT.)
MR. HANKEY THE CHRISTMAS POO: A fecal Santa who comes once a year to give presents to all the boys and girls with plenty of fiber in their diet.
MR. HAT: Mr. Hat is Mr. Garrison’s (see MR. GARRISON) hand puppet that he uses to express his negative feelings. Was once replaced by Mr. Twig.
MR. MACKEY: School counselor who teaches sex education to the kids. Likes to say “m’kay” a lot.
SATAN: Has a son in third grade and an ex-lover in Saddam Hussein.
S**T: Curse word spoken 162 times on the air in a single episode in June 2001.
STAN: Last name Marsh. Wears a brown coat and blue hat with red trim. The only South Park member with a girlfriend (see WENDY TESTABURGER), but he throws up every time she talks to him. Owner of a gay dog named Sparky. (See CLOONEY, GEORGE.) Always makes the announcement of “Oh my God, they killed Kenny!”
TIMMY: Introduced in season four. Small, mentally retarded (or “handi-capable”) classmate who can only grunt his own name and his turkey’s name.
TOKEN: New classmate of the boys, he’s the only…um, er, rich kid in the school.
TOWELIE: General consensus is that this genetically engineered towel is the worst character on South Park. Can often be heard asking, “Wanna get high?”
WENDY TESTABURGER: The resident witch of the class, she also dates Stan and is a “tree-hugging” environmentalist.
