1. Like a phoenix rising out of the ashes… Except Britney’s coming out from under a pile of garbage otherwise known as Kevin Federline. That’s right: Two years and two kids later, Brit has filed for divorce from K-Fed. We’re hoping Britney now returns to being her cute former self. Brit, if you’re listening, that means no more skanky reality TV shows or barefoot pit stops at gas station toilettes. Her public reconciliation with her former manager Larry Rudolph in New York City this week probably means she’s back on track to being bubbly and mainstreamy again. Thank Rudolph for that.
2. File this one under “Yeah, Right”… Jerry Oppenheimer claims in his new book House of Hilton–From Conrad to Paris: A Drama of Wealth, Power and Privilege that Paris was pushed into becoming a socialite celebrity by her family. And now we know why Paris looks so distraught and uncomfortable in the spotlight.
3. Maybe the epidural hasn’t worn off yet.… After sharing her birthing video with Entertainment Tonight and The Insider this week, we’re feeling less sorry for Anna Nicole. “I had an epidural but it did not kick in so I felt everything and it was freaky,” Anna Nicole explains. “It felt like God and Jesus were, like, ripping my insides out of my body and, like, the devil was, like, yanking my insides from my legs and they were playing tug of war.”
4. Apparently, dumb blonde isn’t a stereotype… While filming Blonde and Blonder with Pam Anderson in Vancouver, Denise Richards got so annoyed at the paparazzi she hurled two photographers’ laptops off a balcony of the River Rock Casino Resort. Too bad Denise didn’t bother to look where she was aiming: The computers hit an 80-year-old woman in a wheelchair down below.
5. Except she ain’t no people’s princess… Lindsay Lohan reportedly fears she “will end up like Princess Diana” because a photographer chased her down and slammed into the back of her Mercedes after she left celebrity nightspot Hyde at around 2 a.m. Shame on the paparazzi for encouraging a comparison between Lindsay and Diana.
6. And the latest “I’m Gay” headliner is… Neil Patrick Harris. “(I) am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest,” Neil told People magazine. We’re happy for Doogie Howser.
7. But Shanna, it takes two to tango… Shanna Moakler is all irritated because Paris keeps dating her exes. Back in the day, Paris dated boxer Oscar De La Hoya after he and Shanna split. Now rumors are swirling the hotel heiress is dating Shanna’s ex, Travis Barker. But which boy celebs has Paris not dated? Shanna should be pissed at her exes, who obviously know how to push her buttons.
8. Where there’s smoke, there’s clearly fire… Abbie Cornish was a no-show at the New York premiere of her new film Candy and the speculation is she doesn’t want to have to answer questions about, you know, being linked to the break-up of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. For the record, Abbie, that just makes you look guilty, like you’re hiding something.
9. It’s official: Brit really was raunchy… Britney‘s $10 million libel suit against Us Weekly was dismissed this week after a judge ruled the magazine report about her sex tape was not, in fact, defamatory. Brit was all pissed about the October 2005 article that claimed she and K-Fed had made a racy video together, but a Los Angeles judge ruled it wasn’t slanderous, saying: “The issue is whether it is defamatory to state that a husband and wife taped themselves engaging in consensual sex… (Spears) put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye,” citing racy scenes in her 2005 reality TV show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic as evidence.
10. We can’t find the humor either… “I can remember when I had my acceptance speech ready at the Oscars and thought I would win–but that year happened to be the year of the blacks.” That’s Ian McKellen cracking a joke about why he lost out on an Oscar in 2002—the year Halle Berry became the first black woman to win the Best Actress Oscar, while Denzel Washington took home the Best Actor award. So that would make the 73 years prior to that the year of the whites, right? According to our calculations, the scores still not even.
