The 2001 Turkey Award

Each year, the movie box office breaks the record set the previous year, largely due to young audiences and rising ticket prices. Theaters continue to rake in all that dough despite the fact that Hollywood manages to produce more stinkers than Aaron Spelling — for every Memento there’s a Freddy Got Fingered. What we want to know is, what was the worst movie Hollywood had to offer this year?

We ask you to take a gander at these candidates for the Turkey Award, and vote for the worst movie of the year. (If we’ve forgotten your nomination, please let us know.)

Jason Alcorn, Senior Writer
Moulin Rouge
Jason’s reason why:
	Sure, it had that nice slutty music video, but that’s about it. This highly annoying stinker–in which Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman spend two hours stealing lyrics from mediocre songs–was so bad, I’m embarassed to say that I actually saw it. Be afraid…be very afraid.

Guylaine Cadorette, Writer & Charles Lillo, Executive Producer
Swordfish
Guylaine’s reason why:
	All I remember is a tubby John Travolta with that Eurotrash haircut! It starts with a mind-blowing explosion sequence but quickly disintegrates into the stupidest movie ever made. The only thing worth salvaging from this travesty of a film is the soundtrack featuring Paul Oakenfold.
Charles’ reason why:
	Not even a flash of Halle Berry‘s breasts could save this film from its own absurdity. And Travolta’s Gabriel Shear ain’t no Keyser Soze!

Robert Sims, News Editor
Town & Country
Robert’s reason why:
	Years in the making and finally released in April with absolutely no fanfare. And who’s to blame? …With Town & Country, [Warren Beatty] tried to poke fun at an image that he has cultivated–intentionally or otherwise–for years. But why bother if the punchline is destined to fall flat with a huge thud?

Kit Bowen, Movies Writer & Erika Gimenes, Music Writer
Joe Dirt
Kit’s reason why:
	I’m not entirely sure what David Spade was thinking playing a white-trash hick who has to have his ’80s mullet hairdo glued to his head (don’t ask) while searching for his long-lost parents who abandoned him. Whatever it was, Spade was sorely mistaken in thinking the film had any chance of making anyone actually laugh.
Erika’s reason why:
	Despite an excellent cast (Christopher Walken, Dennis Miller and Kid Rock), the plot was as subpar as the acting. The jokes were not a bit funny–actually as pathetic as it comes. The film is merely white-trash stupidity.

Koki Mourao, Special Projects Manager
Pearl Harbor
Koki’s reason why:
	I was expecting a war movie, not a Mexican soap opera. This movie was overblown, overhyped and overdone.

Stacy Chin, Technology Project Coordinator
Hannibal
Stacy’s reason why:
	The story line was poor and nowhere near as good as Silence of the Lambs. Replacing an actress like Jodie Foster is almost impossible, even with a talented actress like Julianne Moore.

Stephanie N. Marcucci, Editorial Assistant
Saving Silverman
Stephanie’s reason why:
	Saving Silverman was the worst movie I’ve seen so far this year. I want my 90 minutes back.

David Keith, Art Director
Final Fantasy
David’s reason why:
	Years spent creating dazzling effects do not a good story make.

Scott Turner, Producer
Planet of the Apes
Scott’s reason why:
	Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch were more compelling than this movie. What a mess of monkeys.

Noah Davis, Sanitation Intern
3000 Miles to Graceland
Noah’s reason why:
	On the reasonable assumption that no movie featuring an Elvis impersonator can be wholly bad, I was prepared for a high old time at 3000 Miles to Graceland, which exhibits a plenitude of Elvi. This sophomoric film has little to do with Elvis, and everything to do with putting as much carnage as possible on screen under the guise of art, poetry, choreography, taxidermy…

Click here to vote for one of these turkeys of the year!