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ALBA’S A HOOKER WITH A HEART OF GOLD
Jessica Alba as a hooker? I’m sure more than a few fellows have fantasized about that prospect, but she’s doing it for real in Michael Winterbottom‘s noir thriller, The Killer Inside Me, says Variety. Based on the novel by Jim Thompson, the story is about a West Texas sheriff (Casey Affleck) and his downward spiral from a boring small-town cop into a ruthless, sociopathic murderer, with Alba playing the said small town’s only vice. Killer is the latest in Alba‘s crusade to finally be taken seriously as an actress, because as we all know, playing a hooker (with a heart of gold, preferably) usually means, “I’m putting myself out there to show how vulnerable I can be. Now, give me an Oscar!” Look, Alba has been is some serious dogs of late (Good Luck Chuck the absolute worst), but we’re still rooting for her. Patience, girl, patience.
KEEP READING: Carell’s Despicable
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CARELL’S DESPICABLE!
Sigh. Another animated film, another huge A-list cast. This time it’s Steve Carell headlining Despicable Me, a 3D-CG film about a deplorable man named Groo, who, pushed by his evil mother (Julie Andrews), masterminds the mother of all heists when he plots to steal the moon. Groo is temporarily derailed, however, by three moon-lovin’ orphaned girls who invade his life and won’t leave him alone. The rest of the voice cast, a la Variety, includes: Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig, Will Arnett, Danny McBride, Russell Brand, Jemaine Clement and Jack McBrayer. Yeah, this could be a good one.
KEEP READING: The Munsters Return … Wayans Style
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THE MUNSTERS RETURN … WAYANS STYLE
Ah, the brothers Wayans – where have they been? Apparently sequestered, writing a feature adaptation of the ‘60s sitcom, according to TVSquad.com. Yep, Shawn and the gang have always dreamed of bringing Herman Munster and his family’s weird shenanigans to the big screen — and now they’re nearly ready to roll with it. Of course, this isn’t going to be an African-American version. “They’re gonna be green, white people just like they were in the TV show,” Shawn told TVSquad. I have some serious doubts, especially since TV-shows-turned-movies rarely work, but the Wayans are damn funny and should keep the spirit of the campy TV show alive. Now, who could play Herman …?
KEEP READING: Arrested Revived!
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ARRESTED REVIVED!
There’s been much ballyhoo about an Arrested Development movie — will they, won’t they? Well, all those hardcore fans out there, take heart; it appears to be happening. The show’s star Jeffrey Tambor spilled the beans to Collider: “We’re doing it. We are going. It’s a go. I actually just this week talked to Mitch Hurwitz, so we’re doing it.” Really? No fingers crossed? “Get your hopes up,” Tambor says. THUNDERCATS ARE GO!
KEEP READING: Life After Death for Ricci
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LIFE AFTER DEATH FOR RICCI; NOLTE PLAYS LOVE SONGS
Justin Long, Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson and Josh Charles are heading into After.Life. . According to the Hollywood Reporter, Long will play the boyfriend of a woman caught between life and death (Ricci), while Charles plays his friend. Meanwhile, Nick Nolte, hot off his Tropic Thunder turn, will co-star in My Own Love Song with Renee Zellweger and Forest Whitaker. Variety reports the project follows a former singer in a wheelchair during a road trip to Memphis with her friend. Another chance for Zellweger to overact?
KEEP READING: Rock’s Funeral; Smith’s the Kid
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ROCK’S FUNERAL; SMITH’S THE KID
Chris Rock will produce, co-write and star in an urban reworking of the 2007 British comedy of errors Death at a Funeral. Well, good, maybe he can erase my memory of the first one. Man, that was a bad movie, but perhaps Rock will be able show the real humor at a funeral where everything and anything goes wrong. And then there’s Will Smith’s boy, Jaden, who is set to fill Ralph Macchio’s shoes in an updated version of Karate Kid. Jaden was way too cute playing his real dad’s fake kid in The Pursuit of Happyness, but it remains to be seen if he can pull off a role away from Will. Jaden’s upcoming turn in The Day the Earth Stood Still should tell us.
LAST WEEK’S DOTTED LINE: Mickey, Spielberg and Three Stooges
