A robot is “a reprogrammable, multifunctional manipulator designed to move material, parts, tools, or specialized devices through various programmed motions for the performance of a variety of tasks.”–Robot Institute of America.
That’s the technical definition, anyway. Oh, who cares about all that science talk? Even though robots may be artificially made smarter–and sometimes a lot stronger and more terrifying than us–we just love to see those machines find some strand of humanity.
In honor of the CGI-animated Robots, about a small-town metal man who dreams of making it big in the big city, here’s a salute to some of our favorite movie robots:
The Traditional Kind
Sonny from I, Robot
The nuts and bolts: Last year’s hit summer movie takes place in 2035, when robots are a common household appliance. A technophobic cop (Will Smith) investigates a murder that may have been perpetrated by a robot, Sonny. The thing is, robots aren’t supposed to kill humans; it goes against the three rules of robotics engrained in each model, making it impossible for them to harm a human. Or is it?
Why he winds us up: Because Sonny is an enigmatic robot. He keeps us on our toes. You aren’t quite sure at first whether he’s one of the good guys or he’s just manipulating humans for his own gain.
Best communication: Detective Del Spooner: “I thought you were dead.” Sonny: “Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.”
Number 5 from Short Circuit
The nuts and bolts: In this 1986 comedy, Number 5 is one of a group of experimental military robots created as high-tech weapons. But after being struck by lightning, Number 5 develops self-awareness and consciousness. In other words, he becomes alive and has to convince everyone of it before they reprogram him.
Why he winds us up: Because even though he’s just a machine on wheels, he is still so darn cute, spinning around, announcing his existence to the world and basically enjoying his newfound life.
Best communication: What else? “Number 5 is alive!”
R2-D2 & C3PO from the Star Wars series
The nuts and bolts: Throughout the Star Wars saga, these two lovable mismatched bots have done their best to help in the just cause against the dark and evil Empire–even if they have a tough time getting along with each other.
Why they wind us up: Because R2 is one of the more resourceful robots around, with a bevy of handy gadgets he can utilize at crucial moments. And because C3PO can’t do much of anything else but stand around and be the ultimate doomsayer.
Best communication: While R2 beeps and whirs around him, C3PO laments about what he thinks is the end of his friends: “Listen to them, they’re dying, R2. Curse my metal body. I wasn’t fast enough. It’s all my fault. My poor master.”
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Androids: So Much Like Us
The Terminator, The Terminator series
The nuts and bolts: The toughest of the android breed. The first time this flesh-covered cyborg is sent from the future, when an apocalyptic world has been overrun by machines, it’s to hunt down the mother of the human rebel leader, John Connor, before she even gives birth to him. Connor must be eradicated because he’s winning the war against the machines in the future. But the second and third time the Terminator is sent back in time, it’s to protect the leader as a young boy, and then as a young man. From villain to hero, got to love that.
Why he winds us up: Because, in the form of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator looks so badass, you immediately believe he can mow down anything and everyone in his path to either crush or protect his quarry, depending on his mission.
Best communication: Of course, there’s the classic bytes, such as “I’ll be back” and “Hasta la vista, baby!” But this one gets us every time: “I know now why you cry. But it’s something I can never do.”
Ash from Alien and Bishop from Aliens
The nuts and bolts: The good, the bad and the ugly of the androids. In the original 1979 Alien–in which the crew of a mining ship happen upon something definitely extraterrestrial–Ash (Ian Holm), as the ship’s mysterious science officer, does everything he can to make sure the “organism” survives, even at the expense of the other crew members. Turns out he’s also an android, but this is discovered only after he gets his head jobbed off. Naturally, our surviving heroine, Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), distrusts androids. So when she finds out Bishop (Lance Henriksen) is also one in the 1986 Aliens, she has some serious reservations. But the amiable Bishop proves himself to be a capable ally, fighting off a whole colony of aliens.
Why they wind us up: Because with his cool British demeanor and quietly devious ways, Ash hides his secret identity very well–and when its uncovered, we’re just as shocked as the rest. But Bishop seems to be on the up and up from the word go, never hiding anything, and we respect that.
Best communication: Ash, to Ripley about getting out of the situation alive: “I can’t lie to you about your chances, but…you have my sympathies.” Bishop, to Ripley about his reliability: “I may be synthetic, but I’m not stupid.”
David from A.I. Artificial Intelligence
The nuts and bolts: The saddest of the androids, by far. In this 2001futuristic Pinocchio, David (Haley Joel Osment) is a highly advanced robotic boy who is programmed to actually feel love once he is activated by his owner. But after he is abandoned by his human mother, he goes on a long journey in hopes of becoming a real boy and winning back his mother’s affections.
Why he winds us up: Because David is a sweet-faced, innocent little boy-robot who only wants what all real humans want: unconditional love.
Best communication: OK, if none of the above makes you cry just a little, this might: “My mommy doesn’t hate me! Because I’m special! And unique! Because there’s never been anyone like me before, ever!…and when I am real Mommy’s going to read to me and tuck me in my bed and sing to me and listen to what I say and she will cuddle with me and tell me every day a hundred times a day that she loves me!”
Roy Batty from Blade Runner
The nuts and bolts: The most tortured of the androids. In the year 2019, ex-detective Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) is called out of retirement to track down and eliminate a team of humanoid androids, lead by the charismatic yet deadly Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer). The androids have escaped from an outer-space mining colony and are wreaking havoc. Apparently, they possess a biological clock of sorts that is winding down–and they need to find their maker to prolong their lives.
Why he winds us up: Because not only has he got the good looks, spiky blond hair and a bad-boy rep, he’s also got that tortured soul, er, circuitry thing going for him.
Best communication: After failing in his attempt to extend his life, he dies with these words: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
Data from the Star Trek: The Next Generation series
The nuts and bolts: The most well-rounded of the android kind. Under the command of Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), Lt. Commander Data (Brent Spiner) is a well-versed, fully functional–and we do mean fully functional–android who pilots the Enterprise in the voyage to seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Why he winds us up: Because while Data certainly embraces his inner android, he also continually searches for what it truly means to be human. Can’t fault him for that.
Best communication: “I am an android, not a robot.” Well put.
The Old School
Gort from The Day The Earth Stood Still
The nuts and bolts: In this 1951 sci-fi classic, Klaatu (Michael Rennie), an alien from another world, lands on Earth at the start of the Cold War with his mighty robot, Gort. They bring an important message for the planet: Learn to live in peace or be wiped out completely for our violent ways. Do we listen? Oh, heck no.
Why he winds us up: Because, for his time, this tall, silvery, faceless robot, who could melt tanks with one laser blast, scared the living bejeezus out of us. He was one of the first and most frighteningly menacing of the cinematic robots.
Best communication: Gort never says anything. He doesn’t have to. But Klaatu clues us in on what the robot might be thinking. Klaatu: “I’m worried about Gort. I’m afraid of what he might do, if anything should happen to me.” Helen: “Gort? But he’s a robot. Without you, what could he do?” Klaatu: “There’s no limit to what he could do. He could destroy the Earth.” Yikes.
The Robot from Lost in Space
The nuts and bolts: First as the popular ’60s TV series, then as a 1998 film, the story follows the Robinson family as they take off into space in their spacecraft, the Jupiter 2, and run into trouble when they stray dangerously off course. Adding to the mix are a pilot, a stowaway saboteur and, of course, the Robot–the stalwart mechanical watch dog, who helps to protect the Robinsons while they remain “lost in space.”
Why he winds us up: Because he’s loyal, trustworthy, always there in a pinch, with just the right thing to say…
Best communication: …like the oh-so-classic “Danger, Will Robinson!”
Honorable Mentions: Even though they are technically not robots, HAL 9000 from the 1968 2001: A Space Odyssey and Joshua from the 1983 WarGames are worth at least mentioning as two demented members of the artificial intelligence community who cause all kinds of trouble. No one will forget their quotable quotes, “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave,” and “Shall we play a game?”
And one movie robot we should never, ever mention: Bicentennial Man.
