Steven Moffat, the head writer for Doctor Who and writer and co-creator of Sherlock, has long been criticized for his sexism, a flaw that has recently come into light with his decision to make the next doctor a man. Again. It seems that as a writer for shows that he often describes as intelligent and intellectual, he should be careful, or at least somewhat knowledgeable, about women’s rights. Instead, he continues to write female characters whose only positive characteristics are that they’re “feisty” and “sexy” and discusses women’s issues as though all women are either out to get him, or eager to “shag” him. Here are a few of his musings on women, from how gross they are when they’re pregnant to their inherent and unavoidable neediness.
Moffat is proud of his sexual conquests and his ability to craft disgusting metaphors:
“Between the marriages, I shagged my way round television studios like a mechanical digger.”
And what is marriage besides the sacrifice of a minimalist bachelor pad?
“When I met [his wife] Sue I was living in a fabulous, minimalist bachelor pad in Glasgow. I moved down to London to be with her and before I knew it I was living in a massively feminised house where shoes were left all over the place and every surface was covered with cushions and vases.”
Moffat thinks kids are OK (if a bit stinky), but why did his wife have to get so huge?
“Your wife turns into a boat, and shortly after that, you never sleep again and you clean shit off someone. It doesn’t seem like a very appealing prospect. Obviously, the moment I saw my child, that was different, but up until that point, I was thinking, ‘how long before she gets back to normal size? Will this damage anything?’”
And frankly it was all just pretty gross, right boys?
“If you take most men aside when their wives are pregnant, most men are pretty frightened and worried and faintly disgusted by the whole experience.”
On casting Karen Gillan as “Doctor Who” companion Amy Pond:
“And I thought, ‘well she’s really good. It’s just a shame she’s so wee and dumpy’…When she was about to come through to the auditions I nipped out for a minute and I saw Karen walking on the corridor towards me and I realised she was 5’11, slim and gorgeous and I thought ‘Oh, oh that’ll probably work.'”
When criticized for using generic female tropes, Moffat would like to point out that at least they were all sexy:
“River Song? Amy Pond? Hardly weak women. It’s the exact opposite. You could accuse me of having a fetish for powerful, sexy women who like cheating people. That would be fair.”
Moffat defends his choice not to cast a woman as the doctor:
“It didn’t feel right to me, right now. I didn’t feel enough people wanted it. Oddly enough most people who said they were dead against it – and I know I’ll get into trouble for saying this – were women … saying, ‘No, no, don’t make him a woman!’”
He then changes his defense and disses Helen Mirren:
“I like that Helen Mirren has been saying the next doctor should be a woman. I would like to go on record and say that the queen should be played by a man.”
Acclaimed gender scholar Moffat lays the truth down for the unenlightened (and the unenlightened are women):
“There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married – we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.”
And then laments the plight of the middle-class man:
“Well, the world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level – except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.”